No Thais Only Wins

April 28

Today there are so many bugs around that I literally feel like I'm a trash can. I mean I know I don't smell awesome, but I don't usually have bugs and fruit flies and shit swarming my head and lips and bug bites. I am actually wearing a towel over a particularly appealing bug bite because I keep finding knat like things on it when I look down. Its gross. 

Sometimes I wonder if I smell bad here. Like I noticed when I was in India the indian men smelled different and I could smell them more strongly whether that was because of their bathing regiment or their eating habits or their biology who knows but I suspect a combination of all three. In the same way maybe I smell especially awesome to bugs here or especially terrible to people. I don't know. just a thought.

So last night, I went to a birthday party and there was karaoke. After a song by the nayok and a song by the birthday girl it was my turn apparently. They had picked out a song for me. It was Eternal Love. Its amazing the things that you didn't know were keeping up space in your brain, like all the words to Eternal Love. The next time I went up and sang it was because my fairly drunk Nayok(a fairly attractive 48 year old happily married man with 3 kids) picked out a song for us to sing together. This one was Boys 2 Men I Swear. Again I remembered more words than I really feel comfortable admitting but i think the clincher was looking over at him and him looking over at me when we were singing 'for better or worse, till death do us part, I love you with e-ve-ry beat of my heart…'

April 29

Days are going through a boring stint. That said. Today I ate baby bees. Actually it was a beehive and they were unborn bees that were in it. It was surprisingly good. They gave me the littlest ones first. They were alright. I tasted the almost born ones(a mutual translation) and they were a little more intimidating with their eyes and crunchiness and surprisingly not more flavorful. 

I also made some new friends on my bike ride after work and I think I'm going to be taught ping pong tomorrow by one of their 18 year old daughters. The only reason I'm not sure is because it might get vetoed by my home stay sister. So when I told her about my plan she seemed fine with it and asked where. I said I wasn't sure I understood the directions so I told the lady to meet me at the house I met her at today and she could take me there. I also mentioned that I thought they were Cambodian, but I wasn't sure. Now there is definitely a huge amount of racism here. like whoa. As soon as I said that she said, no I don't think so. I saw it the first time I came here with my wrong nayok and I kinda thought it was because she was an older woman and a little stuck in her ways, but I have noticed more and more that the Cambodians are segregated in to a not very nice area of town in small housing centers that look more like storage units. Also, when I met the family today all the females there were drinking beer outside on their 'porch' at 5 in the afternoon, which I haven't seen at all here. If women drink they do it behind closed doors and after dark. Its funny because I can barely tell the difference. I mean I'm starting to be able to more now, but there are a lot of Cambodians here because we're so close to the border. Also there are a lot of mixed, or I'm assuming there are(but I've been burned by assuming before so who knows).

Also, today was kinda sad. I talked to two different friends at home that are sad for any number of reasons, I talked to multiple PCVs that are hitting walls, and I found out that one of my fellow PCVs younger brother died unexpectedly and she is currently on a flight home . After the last couple weeks and all the shit going down with boston and texas and the buildings collapsing in dammit I can't even remember where. But anyway the point is that this stuff is crazy. My first thought when I thought of boston was, who do I know there? Is everyone safe? And not soon after that was, Thank god I'm here. Not only because I wasn't at the bomb site nor in America where everything was going to shit way before I left, but instead because I'm doing this. I'm doing something that was kinda a crazy thing that I always said I wanted to do. It's not like even like this was a lifelong dream that I worked my ass off to get to(I mean I did have a lot of waiting and stupid dr appts). Honestly, I'm not even sure I really wanted to do this when I first said it ten years ago. It was just a cool thing I heard about and I kept saying I wanted to do. And I remember every step of the way questioning if I really wanted this or if this was really happening. I still question it. Like ten times today. But in the end the reason I say thank god I'm here is because I'm doing it. I'm actually doing it. Its not like I didn't think I would or could. Its just that I am. This might all seem trivial but I feel like its the difference between my life and most people(I want to say yours but thats presumptuous). A lot of people want to do things. A lot of people talk about wanting to do things. Few people do those things. It really doesn't take that much. A lot of the time they don't end up like you had hoped or dreamed or even thought(remember the plan with africa and french and math), but the process is part of the adventure and you know more for doing it. And in the end what is life but a series of silly adventures that you get to look back on from your newest adventure. Anyway, thats my uplifting motivating speech for the day. Now go do something awesome. 

April 30

Today I got harsh warning about the Cambodian Love potion. I was laughing at the idea when they turned to me and said, yes it's funny but its also serious. you have to worry. they will touch you and then you will become infatuated with them.

Every time I study thai I come up with another absurdity. The word ตา or dtaa is the word for turn(as in it's my turn), eye and old man. There is absolutely no difference in the words. Not even a tonal change. There's no wonder I have no idea whats going on a lot of the time. Also, one thing that I've been running into lately is Thai's rarely use negative words they instead use the negation of positive words. For instance, when they eat food that they don't like they say 'This is not delicious' as oppose to 'This is disgusting'. So I've keep running into situations where someone will set up a questions like, 'you don't like, right?' which is hard because in autopilot mode I say. 'no, I don't don't like.' which is not correct but I don't want to go as far as to say that I do like it because then I will probably be fed it on the regular. 

I'm not sure about this whole water weight thing(actually I'm pretty sure its just an excuse for girls who are having a fat day because apparently that happens. I usually call it having to go poop, but thats just me). Anyway I'm not sure about this whole water weight thing BUT if I ever had any I'm pretty sure its gone now. Its stupidly hot right now. Earlier today I left the AC in my office which is set to a cool 86(that has to be wrong, but that's what it says) and I went to a meeting in an un AC'd part of the office and about an hour later I thought I was fevering. It was literally that hot. It took me a while to realize that it was probably just the heat and the fact that I'd already biked about 8 kilos in the 100 degree weather.

There are a couple of things that I really miss from america that I didn't really think I would. For instance, the washing machine/dryer combo. First of all I just miss it in its entirety and you guys who have it, even those of you who have to go to the coin op down the street, you take advantage of that. For the first couple months in Suphan I was hand washing my laundry and actually I even miss that at this point. I mean I was sitting on the river by the water and my feet were in the water and I was lightly scrubbing my laundry on my Sunday mornings(before 10 otherwise it was too hot). And I got here to Trat and I got all excited about having a MACHINE. I hate it. So first it takes forever. You have to sit there and fill it up to a line put soap in and then turn off the water and you do have to sit there for 5 minutes because they water doesn't fill it up fast but theres really not time for you to do anything else. Then you put all your clothes in and tell it to spin for 15 minutes and go do something else(and inevitably forget about it and then your paw gets mad because your wasting power, oh yeah first you have to plug it in too because its not plugged in). Now here's where I really really really miss America's washing machines. So in Thai washing machines they spin but there is no middle thing so every time you open the top everything is all twisted and tangled up in one another and all stretched out because everything is all in knots and pulling on each other. Then you have to drain it, and sit there for another 5 minutes to fill it up again and tell it to spin for 15 minutes and forget about it again. and then do that all again to make sure all the soaps out. Then you put it all in the 'dryer'. Now to be honest this dryer thing is pretty cool, its just not a dryer. Its a salad spinner, but for clothes. Now once again all these clothes that were just tangled up in knots that you carefully untangled when you put them into this giant salad spinner are now once again tangled and twisted and now kinda amazingly almost dry(except that one wool pencil skirt that is now a mini, but don't worry the slip is still a pencil skirt). Anyway then because everything is almost dry but not quite dry you have to hang it all up anyway and because the weather is either 90 degrees with 70% humidity or 80 degrees and raining it takes about 2 days for them to dry that extra bit. So yeah, don't complain to me about laundry. And thank the center piece in your washer and whatever makes the dryer doing everything perfectly.

April NOPE May 1

Today it occurred to me while I was sitting in a car full of people speaking thai that I was too tired to try to understand, I wonder if I will be more tired or less tired when I can understand everything that's going on around me. I feel like its a double edge sword because at this point often I just tune out so I hear white noise but I don't hear any of the words, even the ones I might know. But when I get back to America I think it might be a real sensory overload because I understand everything that everyone's saying. I feel like it might be really draining.

I also wonder if there will ever be an entire conversation that I will understand every word. I mean I have some where I understand everything that happening but even those I don't understand all the words. Even in the simplest of conversations I feel like there are probably words that I don't understand that I am not even realizing. Anyway, yeah, I'm feeling a little lacking in the language department at the moment in case you couldn't tell. I'm looking forward to a vacation this weekend in order to see how other people are doing(aka make myself feel better because most of the teachers haven't been speaking thai at all).

May 2

Sometimes when your in peace corps in thailand you wonder why you're here because it kinda feels like they've got their stuff together and their basically a totally put together country…and then you realized that you are sitting at a fax machine trying to fax something and the power just went out and so now you have to actually mail this piece of information to it's intended recipient. Srsly, fax machines, power outages and using mail as an form of correspondence. They're basically in the dark ages.

Also today was a great day. I thought it was a total bust because it was up until 4 pm. Absolutely nothing had happened and I was half heartedly switching between studying thai vocab or practicing writing and reading. When my nayok decided to take me to meet the Governess of the jangwat(the state governor) who was totally awesome and motherly and gave me some great ideas for projects. And riap roy-ness is even weirder than I ever thought. I was examined by 5 people in my office for 10 minutes to make sure my outfit was riap roi before meeting the governor and yet within 5 minutes of seeing her my nayok is talking about his terrible diarrhea. Also, she asked me a lot of forward questions which first made me feel uncomfortable but then I realized this may mean I can actually say the word penis and condom and actually teach about sex here. Also I'm pretty sure the winning line was, "yes well obviously everybody likes sex but some people just don't like to teach it". There are moments that I'm reminded of how awesome my post is and this was one of them.

Then we went and saw my wrong nayok who fell and broke her arm and we visited with her while she's recovering. And THEN(this is where I got all excited in case you can't tell) I MET SOME TEENAGERS AND ACTUALLY HUNG OUT WITH THEM!!!!! So what if it was my cousin and her friends. I've been trying to hang out with her since I met her and every time I ask her what she's doing its always working or laundry. Sometimes she's going to the market or something but it's always on her moto so I can't go. Anyway, she's super cool and I want to be friends with her in part because its part of my job and in part because she's super cool.

Today I learned:

-my tessabaans budget is 34 million baht

-in amphur muang(the downtown part of the city I'm in) two of the schools have recycling projects. I have no idea what that entails but I'm excited to 

Notes from May 3 to May 8 (on vacation)

Does anybody else feel bad/guilty when they put their seat back? I do. Every time. And every time I question why? It's not like everyone doesn't do it. Everyone does do it, so why shouldn't I? Sometimes I try to do it all slowly like thats gonna make it better or like if I do it slowly enough their not gonna notice that now they have a seat in their lap. Also sometimes I don't put it back all the way. Which sucks because I know I could have an inch more of comfortability and once its done its done but they don't know that I'm being an inch nicer than I could be they just know that suddenly a seat was put that much closer to their face than it was before. This is a thing I've realized more the more I travel. I think the reason I hate it the most is that I don't even mind when the person in front of me does it. It just reminds me that I want to do it and then suddenly an hour later I'm sitting there fuming because I'm not even getting credit for the extra inch I left their face and now its too awkward to go an inch further. 

Dinosaur museum

Everything is working. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop.

Also its after long weekends and reading little notes that I jotted down to myself like the above one that I sometimes wonder if I'm totally crazy or if other people have these thoughts too. And I usually end up reasoning that I'm totally crazy but it's not because other people don't have these thoughts its just because they realize none cares and doesn't take the time to jot them down.

Also I watched Princess Bride and when Ingigo Montoya is talking to the spaniard about his use of the word inconceivable and he says,  you keep using that word. i do not think that word means what you think it means. Its like every day in thailand. Today I was taken to 'keep fruit'. I now know that they are translating the word เก็บ or gep which can sometimes be translated as to keep. Other times its translate as to call in or to collect or to confine or to kill or to preserve or to save. Because we all know those are all the same thing…most to kill and to save…those are the most the same.

May 8

So I went on vacation and I didn't have time to write. It was super fun. I met a bunch of group 124 and we hung out and got to know each other. I also got to see a bunch of people from 125 too. Vacation was awesome but between being super tired afterwards, feeling pretty haggard and my 10 hour bus ride home that turned into a 17 hour trip because of schedules and the fact that even when you think you have one it's inevitably wrong, I feel like it was the worst thing ever. Not because the vacation wasn't awesome but because coming back is so difficult and terrible. Yesterday I got in at 5 am after not being able to sleep on the overnight bus only to sleep for three hours and go into work. I felt like I had to go into work because if I would feel guilty if I screwed up the schedule and missed work, but then I realized when I got there that I don't do anything, so I probably should've just stayed in bed all day. 

Instead I sat at my desk not even pretending that I was doing work. But yesterday was one of those days that make me realize how optimistic and positive I am, because having one day where I wasn't my usual adaptable optimistic self made me want to pick up and ship out. Everything was difficult. I wanted to be alone. I wanted no one to care what I did all day. I wanted to not have to smile. I wanted to not have to speak. I wanted to understand everything that was being said without trying really hard. I wanted to understand anything that was being said without trying really hard. Note: I eventually gave up yesterday and told everyone I was sick and I was tired and I had a headache and I'd been speaking english for three days so I forgot all my thai. By the end of the day I was feeling more normal and everything wasn't difficult, but then my nephew friend Daat left to go back to his house and so now I'm realizing that I don't have any of the light heartedness that I usually do at the house. 

Also, something happened while I was away and I don't know what it was, but I think my family realized how independent I was because I could go to Kohn Kaen all by myself. Now my dad talks to me, My mom had said a couple words to me, today my Sister left for work without me(usually she stays until I wake up and tell her she can go because often I don't go into the office anyway). I'm really appreciative of it because it makes me feel more independent and awesome, but also all I want at the moment is to live in my own house where none cares what I'm doing in my room or when I ate or what I'm doing today. Its not even because I don't want them to care it's because I don't want to have to understand what they're saying. 

Also, on that note there have been some communication things that have come to light recently. First is greetings. I was told in Suphan that it's kinda weird to say Sawadii Ka every morning to your family, so I didn't here. But for some reason here I feel terribly awkward about it. Every time I get home or leave my room I feel awkward about what to say. I've tried most of the greetings I feel comfortable with like: how are you?  What did you do today? Hello. Good afternoon. But these are all the american greetings. They don't really work in thai. When you say how are you in thai it's fairly formal, it's usually following a sawadii ka(which I'm not saying, so I think its just weird to say the followup). When I ask what did you do today/yesterday/last weekend, they all kinda laugh at me because they always do the same things, they were either at the house or at work sometimes the women say making food or doing laundry. I'm pretty sure they don't think its insulting or anything but I feel like i'm being insulting or irritating at least by asking them when I already know the answer, and sometimes they even seem a little exasperated by the line of questioning. I'm debated asking if they've eaten yet, but I still feel weird about that one because sometimes it's like 5 pm so yeah they've eaten lunch but they haven't eaten dinner and I already know that because I ate lunch with them and I eat dinner with them. I haven't figured out when this question is appropriate, because sometimes I get asked in like 17 times while I'm currently eating and then other times in the office I won't get asked all day. It doesn't make sense and I don't understand. 

Also, I brought home kanoms and, given that my mom and I don't really talk despite the fact that she's totally the head of the family,  it makes it kinda awkward when I try to give her presents. I think she can't understand me, but I think between the two of us it's just too awkward to try. There are plenty of people that I can't understand and who can't understand me but we do it anyway because we have to. Also mostly I can't wait to actually learn thai well enough so that I actually understand all the words in a conversation as opposed to most of them and being able to piece together whats going on. 

Another thing that I never realized was so hard is talking to someone from a foreign country that you aren't in with their totally foreign version of broken english because now that you've been learning this new broken english you forget how to speak their broken english. That happened today too when I talked to my friend in India.

Also today got way better. I did things. Like two of them, but that's something. I went to the Animai or the hospital and helped out there which entailed a lot of hanging out and cutting out unidentifiable green animals because there were no patients there because the doctor wasn't there. Also, I went and got mangoes in the middle of the morning because you can do that while 'working' here(even for the nurse who took me). We went and got mangoes and then came back as sat at next to Pii Lek (older little, for those of you trying to translate, aka no one) and ate them and watched her get stepped on aka get a thai massage for half an hour while we ate our mangoes. This is work. And further this is better work than I have done in a while because I'm actually talking to people and finding things out.  On that note, today I learned:

-there is a health teacher at both schools and they teach the students all of their health.

-There are 17 HIV positive individuals in Tha Prik/Noen Sai(where my office presides over). They range in age from young children to elderly. supposedly everyone knows who has HIV.

- a thai tongue (and tone?) twister that is maw mai maa, maa mai maw or หมอ ไม มา มา ไม หมอ and it means the doctor didn't come, the dog isn't a doctor. 

- the things that they call colleges in the amphur muang are actually technical high schools. I think. either way they start having kids come at age 12, so apparently I don't have anyone that is technically in my jurisdiction over the age of 12.

The thing thats so crazy about being here is I've gone through so many roller coasters of emotion today and I've done and thought so many things that I was gonna close my computer and go to sleep because I forgot a huge thing that happened today. 

So great day and I also forgot to mention that I had the first meeting of my youth group/teaching english group. I had been telling everyone I wanted to have a youth group and everyone was super into it and all of the powerful people told me okay just wait til school starts and you can start one. I thought that was fine but I was anxious to start meeting youth now in part because I won't have many older ones and I want to try to build relationships before they are all busy with school. So anyway I got home from work and immediately got picked up and went to hang out with 5 kids that showed up(and the 7 adults that came along for the english lesson clearly directed at hyperactive children). It was super fun and halfway through I wanted to take a video and I don't go anywhere without my iPod for just this reason. I looked everywhere for it and it was nowhere. I checked the car to see if it had come out of my pocket and everything. Despite the fact that my inside brain was totally freaking out because without that I have no books, no easy internet, no music, no notepad, basically no life, I pretended everything was fine and finished playing with the kids. 

And ya know what the world didn't end. and I went home and looked for it and retraced my steps and it was nowhere. I was starting to really freak out now and already thinking about all the notes I lost and the names I would have to re ask and the pictures I could never get back and blah blah blah and then decided once again there was nothing I could do about it so I should stop freaking out and go take a shower to calm myself down. 

So I go to the bathroom to shower and the last few nights I've been having a battle with a cockroach in the shower(I really wish I had the energy to go into that story, but we;ll leave that for now. just fyi though at this point its 1-1). so, like the terrified grossed out and very terrible on her feet girl that I am, I check the entire room for the guys normal hiding places and I eventually(after almost assing out because of what I'm pretty sure is some poop on the floor) I decide its time to give it a shot. Also more back story, every evening our water pressure is terrible. I don't know this because I use it per say but most nights I try to refill the bucket of water that I shower out of because my ya showers in the morning and is in a wheelchair so it's better if the buckets full. So I was trying to be my considerate self and fill up the bucket and the pressure from the hose was especially low and I realize its leaking where the rubber hose is stuffed inside the spigot. So I try to stuff it back in. Now meanwhile I'm standing naked fiddling with this spigot with my towel and pasin on the opposite side of this 6 ft by 6 ft room. And of course no sooner do I touch it and the entire thing bursts out of the wall and the water is spraying across the room--directly onto my pasin and towel. So now soaking wet I have to put on my soaking wet thai tube dress and wrap my soaking wet towel around me as fast as I can and go outside looking like a wet rat to explain that I know my family just helped me look for my phone for the last hour and I'm really sorry but I just broke the bathroom. The water is coming and won't stop.(I didn't know how to say faucet). So my dad because the strong silent type walks slowly into the bathroom, looks from the doorway and slowly walks to the kitchen. 5 seconds later the water stops and he says, 'Okay now'. And ushers me into the shower. I shower as quickly as possible because I'm pretty sure everything is falling apart and I've already hurt myself too many times to count in the bathroom and I have the added challenge of my friend the cockroach. 

So I come out of the bathroom ready to hide in my room afraid I'm gonna lose or break something else and Get and Paw tell me that while I'm getting dressed they're gonna check one more time for my iPod in the neighbors garden because we walked through it when I was leaving. I sit down in my room and start putting my cooling powder on because I'm already sweating and before I can even get dressed Get is calling to me. I can't hear her over the thunder. I peak my head out and she hands me my iPod and within 5 minutes it's pouring. 

So yeah. Today was awesome.

May 9

So today started at 3:30 in the morning with me waking up because my body was revolting against whatever I ate and my insides wanted to come out both ends before I got out my bedroom door. And you would think that would be the start to a terrible day, but I'm pretty sure today was the best day yet!! It was crazy full and amazing and hilarious and education. I said this on fb but I'm gonna say it again. Today was one of those days where everything happens. Today I went everywhere and learned all the things except going to 'work' and doing my two year plan, which were the only thing two things I had planned for the day.

Okay today:

3:30 - woke up pooping 

3:45 - still pooping

4 - trying to go back to sleep but terrified of pooping

7 - wake up but pretend I don't have to

8 - actually wake up and go eat breakfast

8:10 - go back to my room and decide its to early to do anything and start to read my book aka fall asleep again 

9 - actually wakeup and get dressed

10 - show up unexpected at the community college where I met an awesome guy named Keng last week and hope 1) he's there and 2) he has time to see me.  Have an awesome session with him talking about how its frustrating not doing anything and I have all these ideas for projects and everyone seems really into them but then nothing happens. Ask his advice. Gives me all the good advice and all sorts of information that is useful and I didn't even ask for . Also gives me two more projects that have real dates and times and places and now I have some work. Also we think of 3 more hypothetical projects that he openly admits to me that may or may not happen. ALSO THIS WHOLE TIME I GOT TO SPEAK ENGLISH!!!

11-12 waste time on the internet looking at really funny photos.

12-1 Stop at the market to get some food. Get off my bike at the beginning to buy my favorite kanom (that I didn't even realize my town had, YAY!) and walk my bike the two blocks so I can get a better look at what the different stalls have. No less that four guys on motorbikes stop and ask what's wrong and if my bike's broken and if I need help and why I'm not riding it. 

1 - feel awkward sitting in the school yard alone, but not sure if I'm ready to interact with thai people again because the last interaction was so successful and I want to keep riding that high all day.

1:10 - decide that sitting alone on a bench is probably worse than having an awkward conversation with a thai

1:10 - see one of the teachers that I know from the school from across the two soccer fields and wave. (awesome for a multitude of reasons but the one I'm most impressed with was four months ago I thought thai's all looked the same and now from a hundred feet away I can immediately know the exact individual)

1:10 - 1:30 hang out with the teachers and don't really do anything except eat kanoms. sometimes they talk to me. riding my high so much that I don't care and don't even feel awkward that I'm at a table with three people talking to each other and not me.

1:30 - 2 decide that it's time to go to the nursery school next door because they are gonna have an event tomorrow and I want to try to get myself invited. Walk in the door and get invited. Hang out and set up chairs for them. Sit under fans. Offer them kanoms that are left overs that no one wants. No one eats them. realize that the people I usually talk to actually have a lot of work to do for tomorrow so I go to leave and they apologize for not having time to chat with me and remind me to wear the blue shirt tomorrow to signal that I'm a staff member.

2 - 3:30 It's too hot to go far so I end up next door at the hospital. I offer them kanoms which no one eats. [OMG just realized they are still in a bag on my bike at this moment. totally gonna go get them…totally delicious!] We have an awesome conversation and chit chat and talk about being fat and wearing bikinis and not being appropriate and i learn all sorts of new words like shy(which was helpful for later). Then they tell me the people have arrived so I should play on Facebook. Nope. Then head nurse instructs me to be the spokes person and only speak in english. I let in the inspectors and they are sufficiently impressed by the white person at the hospital and also by my thai. I'm then instructed to sit down because I'm now useless. It occurs to me that these people are from the big hospital. This big hospital is the same big hospital that has this HIV support group that I've been hearing whispers about but no one wants to give me any real information on. I have an internal debate on whether or not I should ask about it because they are trying to do their job and I'm just interrupting and without the bevy of informal greeting questions that usually accompany getting any single piece of information you want out of a conversation. I go for the gut. I do it. Twenty minutes later this was said:

'I love HIV. I love it so much. And you love HIV too. You should have a youth group and we should teach them about HIV.'

It's so crazy because that's exactly what she was thinking too(hahaha, jk that was totally her). It was awesome. Also now I know where the meeting is and I have like 10 people in my phone as nurse from hospital bc I couldn't remember their names, and there are like 17,000 pictures of me starting into the sun and I'm halfway between sneezing and crying because it's so bright.

3:30 -3:45 Decide it's been an awesome day and I can head home a little early and get ready for Pii Satit's piano class. Stop at the school to see if any teenagers are playing soccer. no luck. get a phone call. It's my sister get asking if I want to go to amphur muang tonight after work. I explain that I already have plans with our friend Pii Satit and she says this is better and she will cancel for me. I agree. Start heading home again. 

3:45 - 4:15 Biking home I see the yaai that came to my little kids youth group yesterday sitting outside a house and she yells at me. I pull over and say hi which ends up with us talking about what I'm gonna teach tomorrow and playing with the kids a little bit, one of whom has disabilities and I haven't met before. She informs me that the other yaai at the table is about to go to her house next door to teach a music lesson and I should go watch her. I agree. As we all walk over up walks a 15 yr old boy who looks familiar but I cant figure why. Turns out he plays soccer. the yaai gives me a tour of her instruments which include her organ, her keyboard and these weird thai instruments. She plays them all. The first two are awesome. The last one is like fingernails on a blackboard mixed with the worst off key singing you've ever hear. It's sounds like death but it's really cool looking. I talk to the teenage boy….THE TEENAGE BOY TALKS BACK!!!!! We talk about music and instruments and the fact that I can't play any and he can play lots. He says he might come to my little kids youth group tomorrow. I tell him he can or I can see him at the soccer field and we can chat about music sometime in english to practice. He gets very excited and asks if he can bring his friends. This I'm pretty sure is how you make a youth group. Meet grandmas and pretend to be interested in their terrible music. I heard thunder. 

4:15 - 5 once again try to head home. I'm almost home when I hear someone scream my voice(it was really loud bc both headphones were in and volume was all the way up) it's a house that I don't know and I remember day 3 someone said hello rosie when I biked by so now I'm even more curious to see who my stalker is. I turned around. A girl I don't know who's on the telephone tells me to come sit down. She disappears and reappears still on the phone shoving a keifer in my hand. I go to look at chickens while she finishes her conversation. I hear large drops on her tin roof. I apologize for not waiting and tell her I have to get home before it starts raining. By the time I get on my bike 15 feet away it's a full downpour. I bike the 2 minutes as fast as I can with visibility of about 5 inches. I arrive home to my sister yelling and laughing at me and I go to park my bike. I turn around and my deaf yaai who never smiles and didn't hear Get laughing at me takes one look at my wet rat self and lets out a howl. (I'm pretty sure if only that happened today would still be the best day ever). Change clothes and get ready to go to the market downtown.

5-8 So get in the car. pick up friend at tessabaan. pick up other friend at house. pick up other friend at house. getting further confused as to why we are picking up all these people that were not actually that close with because none of Get's close friends are in the car. Also I'm pretty sure we're not going to the market. Arrive at a restaurant. Get put in the back room with a banquet table. Start eating dinner. Finally ask Get why the hell we're here. Apparently a nayok is visiting and wanted to take the finance people out to dinner. I am the sister of a finance person(Get) and I'm a VIP so I get to come. Finally the nayok shows up and proceeds to get very intoxicated. These were the highlights (or lowlights depending on how you want to spin it):

Keep in mind this is mostly if not all in thai and he is at one end of a 20 person banquet table and I'm on the other.

In response to the fact that I don't want a boyfriend nor girlfriend neither thai nor american:

You want to be an old hag?

When you want a husband, drink brandy.

Tomorrow we go to Chantaburi(his hometown) and we fuck?

Nayok: Dance like madonna and throw your underwear.

Me: I can't do that.

Some girl from my office who thought I wouldn't understand: Thats because she doesn't wear any.

Me: Thats not true. I'm wearing them but I can't because that's inappropriate.

On suggestions for american songs I should sing for karaoke(we spoke earlier about me riding a bike everywhere):

Other dude: Love me, love my dog

I nod to acknowledge that that's awesome and I'm still probably not gonna do it.

Nayok: No No No No Love me, love my bicycle

(So in case you were wondering now is later) I said the word shy a lot and and broke face a couple times but in the most polite non-breaking face kinda way if that makes sense. 

8-9 Driving home I get a phone call from a weird number and decide I will answer it despite the fact that that is incredibly unusual and because I don't know who it is I answer in Thai. Theres some weird silence at first and then I say Hello, just to double check. and it turns out it's my mom and we get to have a long awesome conversation about this whole crazy long day with probably sounded like mostly gibberish and definitely made her worried with the whole drunken nayok thing, but I'm pretty sure I smoothed it over now. Okay. Time for bed. Hope tomorrow's another one!

May 10 

So today I remember that there are like 17,000 kinds of ants in thailand. I was thinking of trying to name them but then I realized my names for them are not awesome. Thats not gonna stop me though. There are the huge red ones(that are actually brown and I've never understood why red ants have been called red) that bite, and then there are the big red ones that bite(I'm pretty sure they are not the little version of the huge ones because they aren't usually in the same place at the same time), then there are the ones that look like the nice fine black ants in america but they bite and it hurts more than all the other ones, and then there are at least two different sizes of smaller black ants. Okay so I was just second guessing myself so I looked around my room and I think the first black ants are big but I'm just so used to the huge ants these days that they look like normal america size(also they're really into longon the fruit which makes them my enemy because so am I and I hate bites. on a daily basis I kill at least 500 and I get a weird amount of satisfaction out of it). then the middle size black ants are actually the same ants as ours because they don't bite and they're into sugar(I figured it out because there's always a trail of them leading from one size of my room to the around the door area and I can't seem to find out what they are going for). And then there are these minuscule ones that I find on myself all the time. they're smaller than fleas and you don't even realize they are their. it kinda feels like three nerves on your arm kinda thought they might've felt something. thats how you know there there.

also there are so many bugs. while I was writing that there were two that scurried across my floor. one of them I actually stopped typing for, not because I tried to kill it or do anything to get it outside of my room, but because I hadn't ever seen it before and I watched it scurry to find a dark place. That dark place turned out to be my dirty laundry and that is totally fine with me only because it wasn't that big(smaller than a beetle). 

Also revisiting the cockroach now that we're on the bug stories. I haven't seen him since the water incident which is awesome 

NOPE not gonna happen. got a phone call and talked for too long and now its time for bed. maybe tomorrow

one last thought. its a good day when you overhear a conversation and understand what they[re talking about and can add something to it that they understand and the conversation keeps moving smoothly and now you are a part of it. 

okay two last thoughts. its also a good day when you can joke with your family and make jokes and everyone in the room including the yaais understand them and laugh at them as opposed to wait for the explanation from your sister.

May 12

It's hard to write everyday. Sometimes its cause nothing happens and sometimes its because nothing that make sense happens and its to hard to explain it to people back home. For instance, today I went to a funeral with 7 people in one sedan. The first car we got in the transmission was going and it smelled terrible so we all got out(on the side of a highway) and the one dude drove the car home(which was only a minute away) and got his other care(side note: if there is a dude in the car, that dude is driving. no matter who's car it is. It annoys me mostly when they parallel park. I'm not sure I could do it better given that every things backwards and on the wrong side but there have been multiple times that I've thought about asking.) So then we go to this funeral and we're fairly early. Not in the sense that no ones there but in the sense that we feel awkward about being there that early because we're not actually close to the family but now we're going to have to say something to them at least. [also for the record I hate when people say 'we feel'. It reminds me of middle school when stupid girls would say 'we hate her now' and I wish I had punched them in the face. The fact is since I've been in thailand there is a certain about of unspoken sensing that happens when you don't know the language and you have to be hyperaware of what you are supposed to be doing in any given situation. So I have recently come to describe my feelings and our feelings because it's really just whatever i think my sisters feeling.] So anyway, everybody goes through the ritual of giving the wife of the deceased an envelope with money in it(anywhere from 100 baht to 1000 baht) and we go into the Wat to eat dinner. [okay just a side note: this is already too long and I keep thinking of side notes and other stories. Like the fact that there is a clock with black lace around it taped to a piece of poster board in the truck of the car we came in that I was told could be given at a funeral instead of flowers. I assumed this would be the point to give it, but I was wrong(again!)] So yeah, we eat dinner. We hang out in the dinner area for about an hour as more and more people come. Then we move into the seating area(I'm not doing the wat justice because it's beautiful and interesting and definitely not the funeral home you might be thinking of, but I REALLY REALLY don't have the time for that). So we're sitting there for a while and chatting about different things and I'm texting my friend and we talk about if people wear wedding rings here. I find out that it's up to them but from the cursory study it looks like the younger generation does and the older doesn't. And then Get keeps looking to see if a car's coming and then suddenly she tells us all to stand up and we go up to the front of the Wat space and take a picture with  the deceased wife and give her/the Wat the clock(I'm pretty sure we're giving it to the Wat in her/his name). anyway we have the cursory picture of the hand off of the present and then we go sit down again. So I go back to texting and realize that I've been here two hours and the funeral hasn't even started yet. I start getting antsy and wondering when the hell I'm ever gonna get home and suddenly Get says okay. everyone lets go. 

We didn't go to the funeral part of the funeral. I still don't understand what happened, and I didn't even try to ask because in all honesty I don't really care. It is pretty puzzling though.

In other news, today I made a new real friend. Her name is Pii Baam(like lip balm without the l). She took me on a bpai tiao (a trip) today. So the plan was to go to the beach, I was pretty sure in our conversation on thursday we said we were going to Koh Chang so I was super excited because I've been wanting to go there since I came here. I got in the car and first realized it was just me and her. I don't know why this surprised me so much bc she hadn't told me anyone else would be there, but there's a lot more pressure on my language ability when there's none else in the car. It turned out fine. We went all sorts of places(none of which were Koh Chang). We went and made merit with her friend which today did not involve dancing but instead was cleaning an altar thing with a petrified tree on it. The tree was super cool looking and for the first hour I wasn't sure if it was tree or rock and it didn't really matter so I didn't ask(it amazing how much I don't know because I decide it doesn't really matter aka I'm to lazy to ask/listen to the answer). Anyway it was really pretty and here's a picture of it all pretty and nice afterwards.

PICTURE OF PETRIFIED TREE(BEFORE AFTER_

So then we went to her friends house and it was a cabin. I kept trying to explain that we had the same kind of house in america and it was usually in the snow. I don't think it translated well. I said all the things but even as I was saying them I didn't really know what point I was trying to make. Anyway here's a Thai log cabin:

LOG CABIN 

Then she painted my nails. She has a whole hairdresser/nail salon kinda setup at her house and I'm pretty sure thats what she does for a living and I can honestly say I have had better manicures from a 5 year old(Thank you Talia!). Anyway then we went to her childhood house which was cool because I got to meet her sister and see the house that she's(?) building for her family. There were also some interesting status things. For instance, her sister's skin is darker because (I'm assuming) she's a farmer. Also their old house, which is still there is partly wood partly tin and looks similar to what I might call a shed, but with multiple rooms. Appearances in Thailand mean everything so it felt very weird to drive up in a car with Pii Baam in her jeans and collared shirt and walk up to this house that many people in america wouldn't call a house(it was also totally cool and I want it) and then have her tell me that this(point to a raised half cement half wood house in the process of being built) was the new house she was building. I felt weird. and honestly I would like to talk about this further because I have a lot of thoughts about it but I'm already bored so you must be, either way I'm over it.

Today I learned:

- if you want to instead of wreaths at funerals you can give them a clock mounted on cardboard with black lace pasted around

- Pii Baam told me that if I went on bpai tiao with my male friend we could share a room but if they came to visit she would help me. One of us would have to sleep at her house. This was something I was a little worried about because as liberal as my town is i still thought it might be an issue and I was right.

- 

Is it gross that while watching WallE I got hungry when they offered the lunch time shake beverages. nm don't answer that.

May 13

Today I went to the beach and it was awesome. I'm sunburnt now.

Now this blog was supposed to be a way to tell everyone everything I'm doing and a way to fulfill peace corps third goal which is something about teaching people back home about thai culture. It occurs to me that while this was foreseen I am at the point where I have learned so much that I forget that you guys sitting at home don't know what my daily life is like. You have the snippets that I have chosen to tell you, and I have forgotten what those are most of the time. So here's for some cultural exchange…shit I can't think of anything. Maybe the fact that my dad never wears a shirt if he's at the house, but I can't really explain that because it's not true. Maybe that right near the bathroom I use always smells like poop like ALWAYS, but that's really because my yaai's super old and often leaves some somewhere and you can't always find it. Maybe that for the first two months there was a kid living in our house that I assumed was my sister Op's but it turns out he's my brother's kid and they live 10 minutes away but I didn't meet him for the first month. Lets go with that one because there's a bigger thing there. So family in thailand. First of all I'm related to everyone on my street. Actually almost everyone, there are two houses I don't know and there's one lady that's my friend at the tessabaan's aunt, but now that I think about it that's wrong. I think she's my actual aunt and my tessabaan friend just called her aunt (insert thai name here). In thailand there is a strong sense of community and there is still very much a village feel. For instance, if you are in a public place like a restaurant or something you call someone by whatever their title in your family would be so if they are older than you but not as old as your mother you would call them Pii(also you can call anyone older than you pii if you are unsure where they fall in the rest of the categories). If they are around  your mother age(about 40-65), you call them Bpaa or aunt and if they are older than that you call them Yaai (grandma). Also another note because I realized as I wrote that that I was only talking about girls and I didn't really know the labels for dudes because they aren't usually in service jobs. I might be generalizing but I haven't noticed many men in service industry jobs. Also it's funny even to call it that when I haven't eaten in a place with four doors since I came to site.

Today I got a text from a friend that said, Yeah I need to check myself more when I start to complain. Were in Thailand. 

It reminded me of how amazing this is. I feel like I'm on perma vacation a lot of the time and I know I'm not, but the way they work here I still feel like I am. And in all honesty I kinda am at this point. I do a lot, but it's all fun things and hanging out with kids and networking. I've got a bunch of projects being talked about including some stuff with the special education center, some sex education, some reduce, reuse, recycle and composting training, and some youth group stuff. I'm really excited about them and at this rate I'm not sure anything will get done but the fact that the ideas are out there and people are excited about them are half the battle. The other half is finding people to do them with me so that it can be sustainable and I can train other people to do lead these projects. 

Also, I guess the thing I want to remind you guys when you imagine me sitting here in thailand is the fact that I'm still pastey white(or red today) and 5'10" and sputtering out my terrible thai(that's totally communicable now) and everyone else is short dark tan thai people speaking thai super fast(eve. This morning I was telling my real life mom a story about some girl who said something and my mom asked me if she said it in english and I kinda scoffed. I realized that the last time I had a conversation in English(not on the telephone) was May 8 when I left Kohn Kaen. I noticed today that my understanding of Thai has gotten so much better that today when my sister was trying to explain something she started trying to tell me in english and then just switched to thai and said it a different way. I completely understood and there was no way she was gonna have the words in English. 

Also, today my mom touched my arm AND invited me to the raan ka when she and my sister were going AND when we ware there she asked me if I wanted anything. She usually doesn't talk to me, I think it means I'm officially part of the family.

Today I learned:

-They have sea leeches here and they are just as terrible as they might sound. but actually they are worse because they are like 9 inches long and 2 inches wide and apparently they eat them here. Get hasn't tried them because she said said people say they are delicious.

- They call the nice Astrovans or what they call here Rot Dtuu's limousines. The usual Rot Dtuus fit about 13 passengers and I'm pretty sure the limousines to do but they have air(aka AC). I'm totally unsure on that, but that's usually the only difference between normal and luxury here.

- Today there were 8 people in the sedan I was sitting in and I didn't even think about it until we saw a traffic stop. I'm actually legit not sure if that illegal. That said, there were about 20 cars on the side of the road getting tickets so I bet most of the things that Thai people do in cars are illegal. Good thing the cop was talking to the person in the other lane!

- at the 'gourmet' meat table at the market today there were 3 interesting things: what I think is a Gila monster- Get told me it was like a crocodile but baby. A porcupine. And what I'm pretty sure was a cat and another animal and they said there were both something like a wild mountain deer.

- I am starting to understand the racism against cambodians, and I might have been passing judgement too quickly. I have met cambodians at two different times today and through out my time here, I have never met cambodian men when they we're drinking and didn't immediately try to hit on me and offer me booze.   I think cambodians are very nice people and I loved cambodia but I'm starting to become wary of Cambodian men at least in this town. 

Big girls don't Thai

April 12

So I forgot one kids name. His nickname is Blue. like the color. Also tonight I met a guy who i've met a couple times and he's always drunk and someone told me his nickname was Drunk and I thought it was great until I realized they didn't speak english so they must've said something else. So I checked for understanding(like were supposed to do when were teaching) and they said yes Drunk like gap gap gap gap. At this point I realize that they are saying duck, so they do know some english and it's actually the english that I taught them last week when they were all sitting around in a circle at my house getting drunk. So i guess the point is they learned something and I'm still gonna call this dude Drunk.

Also today I learned that the naam at lom kiao or what they call naam kiao here is not in fact the green sweet sugar water I thought it was but in fact it's cream soda. It's not that I am necessarily excited by this fact but more perturbed. Why should cream soda be electric green? There is no part of cream nor soda that should be green. Let alone be called green water. Also the reason I thought it was green sugar water was because naam deng or red water is often actually water with some red syrup in it. But today I also learned that that is different from what they called naam deng tonight which was the red soda(still unclear on the flavor of that one). Apparently they call them both naam deng but it depend on the situation what you're talking about. At this point I just want to ask someone to get me some naam deng and see what shows up. Knowing thailand like I do it would be a totally different new thing that is either the best thing ever or something that immediately makes me want to throw up and poop out all my insides at the same time.

Today my sister was wearing a shirt that had a big picture of minnie mouse on it. At the top it said OH SHIT ITS(the its was partly covered by a pocket) all the way around the large minnie mouse in a circle it said WHERE ARE YOU FROM? and then below that it said MONDAY TOMORROW.  It took me all day of staring at it to try to figure out that 'oh shit its monday tomorrow' went together, but it still makes absolutely no sense. and why is the word shit on a tshirt with minnie? I mean thats just the first of a whole load of questions. I kinda want to talk to everyone who touched that shirt and see if anyone can speak a single word of english.

Also tonight I made fried chicken for my sisters birthday and it was super fun and cute and awesome and we grilled meat on this little grill/soup maker thing and it was awesome. I also had a really good talk with my pii gop's boyfriend who's a nurse who works at the tessabaan and asked him about problems in trat and he said AIDs and teen pregnancy and drunk driving and I was explaining what my job was and it reinvigorated me to actually do my job which is awesome.

also today I learned:

-Pii Dip- is the thai word for the spirit of the uncreamated dead which is a really stupid and complicated and debatably incorrect way to say zombie, but zombie is what it means

-My 26 year old sister Get is terrified of thunder and lightning and if theres a thunder storm when she's supposed to come home from work she either waits it out or makes her 70 year old dad come get her. Today after about five minutes of a thunder storm she said 'okay thats it. I'm not taking a shower tonight. because she was to scared.

-the us government requires a bank guarantee for thais to go to the US for travel. aka the US government has to confirm that thais have enough money in their bank account that when they go to america they aren't going there to work. (Now I take this with a ton of salt because it was said in a conversation where most of the individuals with the information were drunk and seem to enjoy teaching me things but besides that I think it could be true.)

April 13

Today I learned:

-instead of hugging everyone for new years Thailand had a country wide water fight and then smears baby powder on your face often aggressively and wishes you a happy new year

-I have broken my public masterbation cherry - in that I saw it. I did not do it.

-Two new ways to be cold in thailand: water fights with ice water and taking a shower after a sunburn(its only for like a second but it still counts)

-I never knew how many people could fit in the back of a truck. I think the fewest I counted was 7. 

-Apparently I'm wei-ing all wrong when i'm at the wat. 

-Everyone I introduce myself to remembers my name and says hi to me every time they see me which is lovely but often I have no idea who they are. Also I recently figured out that some of them I haven't actually met but they have heard about me and will act as though we have until I ask. 

-best DIY zombie makeup is wake up a 5 am and then in the afternoon hold a 5 hour water fight or until all your digits are super wrinkled and then dry off and put some baby powder on. add color if needed. 

Today was super fun. First we woke up 5 and made merit aka went to the temple and listened to monks chant and gave alms and ate breakfast. Then we came home and I immediately took a nap because we had nothing to do til noon. Then at noon we all went to the dal at in amphur muang or downtown Trat and literally had a water fight for 5 hours. I'm not sure I can do it justice but I will try. So the first time we showed up we had two trash cans full of water in the back of a pickup and literally just poured water on anyone we saw which was fine because everyone else was doing it too. As I learned throughout the day there are people who have cold water, warm water and there are a bunch of people selling ice so there's also the ice cold water. Also a bunch of people siphon water up from the river so once you are downtown you can refill your trash cans and you don't have to go all the way(5-10 minutes) back to your home. I got a couple good pictures that I will put up(mostly on fb because its the easy one stop shop for my photos). Its pretty crazy. Also I had a cut on my arm so I put on a band aid this morning and I don't think I would've known I had gotten any color if I hadn't but not it's pretty obvious. Also because I was a farang actually playing in the water fight I got a lot of special attention too so I got extra wet. Also at some point in the day the baby powder came out, I don't remember it happening earlier but maybe I just didn't notice. Anyway they make a paste like thing out of baby powder or cooling powder or prickly heat or some thing else that I don't know and put it on your forehead and cheeks or sometimes you're whole face. Now this is usually basically fine. I mean you get your usual creepers that always have to tell everyone they are beautiful before they do it or the ones that try to have a conversation with you or even the super aggressive ones that seem to think they have to get your whole face white and pretend they are knocking you out with ether. All of those aren't so bad. But when it's the cooling powder that's the worst. Best case scenario its burning your cheeks, worst case scenario you can't see and every things burning. 

Also a great moment: I was walking around with my younger sister(the one who studies in bangkok) and watching the parade that randomly happened in the middle of the afternoon and were basically walking in the parade and she stops and points up and says, 'look farangs' and in the lane next to the parade was a tour bus full of farangs. Like literally probably 100 white people just staring at me. Honestly I was kinda excited to see a farang because I haven't seen one since I got here and then I was all proud of myself for being 'integrated' into the culture and 'really experiencing' it and not just sitting on a tour bus going from place to place. So I responded with a laugh and, 'yeah, far-' and got hit in the face with a huge bucketful of ice water from the car I was like a foot from. So I guess that's what I get for being all holier than thou and whatnot. 

April 14

I think sometimes I forget to be funny because I'm trying to be professional. Just fyi, also things are less funny when none understands them. Like something that I would usually make fun of here isn't funny to all the thai people because its just the way it it. Like for instance the fact that they drink everything out of straws. They drink EVERYTHING out of straws. you want some milk…heres a straw. you want some beer. heres a warm bottle, a cup that holds about 6 ounces that is full of ice and yep can't forget the straw. All of these things are funny, but not so much to thai people because its just what they do. 

I just killed three bugs that were crawling on me and I have no idea what they were and I didn't think anything of it. This is what Peace Corps all about. This is what I call adapting.

Today I met an awesome old man on my bike ride. Well actually I stopped to get food because I realized it was 3 and I hadn't eaten lunch so I stopped at the market and realized it was the first time I have gotten anything for myself since I have been to site(which is insane). Actually side note I thought about this today and I have earned money since getting to site(minus rent) because I have danced at two different venues and given 100 baht each time(a little more that $3). I have now spent about 45 baht. So I have made 55 baht since I've been here. CRAZY. Anyway so today I spend 45 baht on lunch which I decided I wanted to try one of everything so I got a skewer of everything the lady had and a pepsi. So I had like 8 skewers of meat. All pretty usual. Fish balls(not actual balls but its ground up and formed into balls), pork balls, hot dog, gai yang or grilled chicken and some other stuff that I wasn't sure what it was but it didn't taste weird so I assume it was some form of the above. 

Anyway I suddenly hear, hello. you. hello. you. and I get dragged into the neighbors house because she speak english. I meet this lovely family that is full of teachers. The dad Kuuson is 87 and he adorable and old and came outside with him walker with a beautifully bright smile to say hi. He is also super touchy for a dude. He was touching my like the yaais usually do(minus the boob touches and the butt slaps that they yaai's seem to love). He kept holding my hand and then putting our hands in his lap a little close to his crotch that I was comfortable with but he was such a cute old man that I couldn't believe it was with malicious intent. Also Old people can basically do whatever they want in thailand.

Here are some pictures:

This is Kuuson

This is his english teacher daughter.

So this afternoon I was lying in our 'living room' which is really just a 12 by 12 wood bench in the middle of what I would have probably called a garage in america. I was doing this while all the other adults in my family were distributing dirt in the garden so that they could level it before the rainy season. They wouldn't let me help. Okay to be honest I only offered once and they said not to worry but I'm pretty sure even if I had insisted they wouldn't have let me help(or at least I'm gonna delude myself into thinking that). So they were doing that for a couple hours and then they all came in to the living room(garage) and my paw walks to the middle and just undoes his belt and unzips his pants. I start looking around being a little weirded out and feeling even weirder because no one else is reacting. Also weird interlude. He's wearing dark like black pants that I would usually associate with business attire. They aren't super nice but they were pressed at one time and they are still a somewhat respectable shade of black so I don't really understand why these are his work pants(I've seen some other pants of his that would make way more sense to work in. at least in my humble opinion). So yeah he drops trough and it turns out he has his shorts on underneath. So it's like 100 million degrees outside(okay today it was actually a cool 80, but still) and he is doing yard work with two pairs of pants on. I sooo don't understand. 

April 15

Today was just an all around great day. I woke to the usual rooster outside my window at about 5:30 in the morning. Which by the way happens every day and I'm not sure how I have forgotten to mention it until now, but it's actually kinda awesome because that is the really loud alarm that wakes me up. And ya know when you bolt upright at like 7:30 on a saturday and then realize you get to sleep longer, I get that every day. I can't even believe myself when I say shit like that but I actually have that thought every morning. Oh fuck! Oh wait nope it just the rooster that is outside my open window(like literally 4 feet from my head and no I can't close it because then it would be balls hot and smell like a moldy laundry basket in my room) and now I get to sleep for another hour. 

Okay so yeah I woke up and I decided that I didn't want to go make merit this morning, but the problem is no one is really downstairs at 6 in the morning so I set a new alarm to wake up to tell my family I wasn't gonna go to the wat(temple) this morning and then went back to sleep. I puttered around all morning and read and slept and slowly woke up. And by the time everyone came back from the wat they had a project. We were making kanoms. So I don't know the name of these kanoms but they are super fun to make because you basically make a sugary paste and then make little mini fruit and paint them with food coloring. But when you are making them by yourself you can make whatever you want. At first I started with fruit that they arent very common here like strawberries or blackberries(that was hard because they have to be super small and I have man hands). but then it quickly turned into mustaches and dinosaurs and glasses and snow men. It was super fun and now we have like 17 tupperwares full of mostly fruit shapes but also my weird ones and the Dat's awesome creepy bunny/joker face and other such gems.  

Here are the pretty adult made ones:

Here are mine and Dats aka some of my favorite ones:

There were some good funnies today too. Get today forgot an english word I taught her and I've been trying to wait a little longer and try to let her figure it out before I just give her the answer so she said, law law law(the thai word) oh right man some. --I want to believe that you can figure out what she means but just in case the word was handsome.

oh and some family members came by to honor my ya today because I guess thats what you do around the new year(thats why old people day is right before new years). And it was super cute two of my cousins came and they were both slick dudes with slacks and collared shirts and seemed very much so Bangkokians and they walked in and kneeled on the ground and hugs their grandma and were kissed her and were just in such adoration that I was so amazed. In their honoring of her they poured water over her hands and washed her feet and then put her feet on top of their heads while kneeling in from of her. That is huge. The head-foot concept in thai culture is a huge deal and to put someones feet on your head is basically saying that even their shit is better than anything in you. It was adorable. Also afterwards they were joking with her and it was the first time I've really seen her lighten up or even really talk. Also we had our first conversation today which involved a couple back and forths and then one of my cousins egged her on to speak english and she turns to me and in barely an accent she says, Thank You. And everyone erupts in laughter and smile. I've decided I'm gonna try to make her laugh more because I think thats the secret to long life.

On the subject of laughter. One of my aunts is awesome. She is a farmer so I sometimes see her on my bike rides and she always want to sit and chat. She also is my meh's closest sibling/friend. She comes by the house almost every night to visit with my meh. But its kinda weird because she almost always comes to our house to visit for about 15 minutes only to then have my meh go to her house to visit for another 20 minutes or so. I've done it with them a couple times and I can't see the rhyme or reason to it but it works for them so I let it go. So anyway, back to the story, so I'm sitting in my room after my shower counting the number of bug bites I got in the 15 minutes that I was outside helping my meh harvest peanuts(over 20, and they covered all the worst places. toe, knuckle, knee, 5 on my butt) and the room to my door opens. In walks my aunt, not really noticing or caring that I am only half clothed, telling me we're going to her house. This is one of those things that I've forgotten to mention also. Often things will be said and sometimes they're phrased as a question but most of the time they aren't. This does not mean that you are required to do them, but often it is easier than the alternative. In part because people will probably ask you what you will do and saying you were just gonna finish counting your bug bites is not really an acceptable reason to not go visit with family. So yeah. I went over to her house. She automatically wanted to feed me so I have to try everything she gives me and it was all awesome and I was utterly stuffed already. And I know that this sounds like I'm complaining about eating delicious food(her food is delicious!) and I am. You will understand if(aka when) you come here. I had just eaten two bowls of rice with other things and a handful of sugar filled kanoms. I'm so stuffed in fact that at the next house we went to the joke was made that I am going to have a baby. They loved that one. They pointed out I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have a husband but I'm gonna have a baby and laughed and laughed and laughed. 

Also, backtracking a little bit, before we went over to the house we were all sitting at my aunts house and she turned and asked me something but I didn't understand part of it and I turned to get and she turned to me and gave me a hilarious evil rich man laugh. Which I immediately cracked up at but completely understood to mean laughing. Which then made me pause because I understood everything else in the question so it turns out she was asking me if I wanted to go over to the neighbors house to laugh. I mean, really? How can you say no to a question like that? And so we went over and laughed and killed mosquitos and packed turtle eggs but I'll leave that for a different day.

Also, theres a bag of frogs in our kitchen that my older brother caught the other day and I'm pretty sure they are just slowly dying. They haven't had water in like 3 days and I feel like its inhumane and its not like I really care about frogs but I feel a little weird about it. Not to mention the fact that I think thats a really weird way to kill them. Why not just knock them out or stab them or something? It also just doesn't smell very good. not that they ever smell very good. I don't know. I feel weird about it. 

Also I'm really into pictures these days so here are some pictures of the frogs from before:

number one: they are huge, and once again half of them were pregnant.

This is me helping prepare them.

This is the preparation. aka only taking out the hind leg bones and just breaking everyhting else up into bite size chucks.

April 16

At this point if I touch unexpectedly or if something unexpectedly touches me I assume it is a bug. There's a 50/50 chance that I'll look at it and there's a 100% chance that I don't want to know what it is. Its usually an ant but it could be a moquito or any of the other basically innocuous bugs or it could be any of the terrible horrible no good very bad bugs that kill you(or so my brain says in the middle of the night. but also I'm pretty sure we don't really have that many of those). The other day I convinced myself I had dengue fever for no other reason than I remembered that they had a dengue fever prevention program here and I was tired. 

But there are crazy things here. My friend found a tarantula in his bed and scooped it up in a bag and showed it to his home stay sister and she just shrugged and there the bag in the trash. But I have gotten uncomfortably comfortable with insects crawling on me at all times. I'm still just amazed at these ants. They are everywhere. All the time. There are like 5 different kinds too. Sometimes you get multiples. I went to the store this weekend and got in the car afterwards and found an ant on me and I got crazy excited because I realized I hadn't seen an ant on me for like a whole hour. I don't remember where that place was but I want to live in the magical place where ants don't live.

Also I would like to live in a place with no mold. This has only recently become a problem. but it is becoming a very annoying problem because my room now smells like I'm growing a sweaty fetus in wet wool. I think I've found the culprit: my winter jacket(srsly what the hell was I thinking, the record low in bangkok is 50 degrees F) that was still in the bottom of a box. Anyway, my room still smells like buttonhole and I haven't figured out how to dry my laundry between the 85 degrees with 80% humidity and the 75 degrees and pouring.

April 17

So guess what was on the dinner table last night! The frogs! I decided not to eat them despite the fact that they were fried and when they are fried they are awesome. I kinda thought eating them would make me gag and I do that at the dinner table enough already when I'm not expecting to.

Also there's a crazy chorus outside my window tonight. Like sounds I've never heard. It kinda makes me think of that scene in the Little Mermaid when it's kiss the girl and all I need is Sebastian to come in right about now. Anyway, I made a little video. I hope it works: UPDATE: it got cute short but here it is:

(Also that thing that kinda like a frog and kinda like a toad is a bullfrog and its thai name is ung aang because thats what it sounds like.)

So its been raining for the last two days straight. I don't miss the rain any more. I'm actually almost cold. I was actually cold twice today because apparently when its raining and a pleasant 70 and pouring people forget to turn off the ac in their cars so you go from kinda wet but still comfortable to freezing in a matter of seconds. Ohhh woe is me!! Also I was supposed to go on a bike ride this morning and instead I was driven around town doing Luk's errands with Luk and Eye, who at the tessabaan, but don't worry all our bikes in the back of the car so they went for a ride at least. 

Today I learned:

- The word for turtle dove. Its Nok kao. This also happens to be the word for penis. I can't wait to have that misunderstanding. "I sell penises."(penii?)

-Drug addition is a problem in Trat but from what I understand there is not really anything anyone does about it. I have yet to figure out if this is a communication issue or the reality of the situation. I'm leaning towards the latter. In addition, I will probably not be able to work with the addict community because my wrong nayok thinks its not safe. She is often over protective but I will wait and see about this one.

- Today all the pu yai bans(village chiefs) set up a rest stop on the highway because it was the end of a long holiday weekend. I think the idea is a lot of people would be traveling home after the holiday and may have been driving for a long time. They had food, water, juice, coffee and food. I'm pretty sure no one except villagers stopped by. But hey I got a free lunch out of it.

-teaching family relations is difficult in thailand. they have one word that signifies any kid within the extended family thats not your offspring so in thai lan is niece, nephew, granddaughter, grandson, cousin's son, etc. And yet they have 3 words that mean aunt: bpaa- father or mothers older sister, aa- fathers younger sister, naa - mothers younger sister and 3 words for uncle: lung - father or mother's older brother, aa - fathers younger brother, naa - mothers younger brother. So yeah. 

April 18

Today I had to go to the plus size stall at the market in order to find shorts. I was told my fingernails were not pretty(they don't use the word ugly) because they were too short, which is another thing that I will go into sometime. Fingernails are weird here. and often grossly long but different lengths. Okay I guess I'll go into it now. So I've been told that they want all their digits to be the same length because its regal/godlike/buddhalike so because their fingers aren't all the same length (ya know bc that would be weird) some people grow their shorter finger's nails out so that their hand looks like it has finger all the same length. So this never really works but that was the explanation I got for why some people have really long finger nails. Like everything here I take it with a large heaping bag of salt but I thought it was interesting none the less. Anyway back to my day. I was asked by my nephew Dhat why I had fur on my legs. And I was told by two different women that they could find me a fan(boyfriend) if I wanted one. They already knew guys who were law(handsome) and thought I was suai(pretty). Also, I got absolutely no work done, but I ate about 3 lunches while 'working' in the community aka getting to know people aka people telling me to eat things and watching me and asking if I think they are delicious. Also I found out that the kids in the house will be leaving when school starts again which makes me sad.

That was my day. It wasn't a great one, but they're were some gems. Also I'm always tired. Mostly until about 5 pm and then I'm wide awake. I don't understand it. I wake up anywhere from 5 am to 7:30 am and yet I can't seem to be tired when its time to sleep. 

April 19

My brain hurts. I can't understand thai anymore. I'm hitting a wall. I'm too tired to try. 

Also today I thought I was going to lunch. As I did technically eat lunch but I actually went to the wat and make merit. I think my favorite thing about this culture is making merit means going to a temple eating and then dancing around the wat three times with a bunch of women over the age of 70.

Here are a couple photos and a video:

I also spend most of the afternoon making merit. After I picked up trash on the side of the road with all my fellow tessabaan employees, I studied thai for an hour and then heard some music downstairs and it turned out the band and the dancers had danced to the tessabaan. So I joined in with them and the next thing I know I'm still at the wat 5 hours later. Sometimes when I hear myself talking about my day in my head(or sometimes out loud in english that nobody understands) I realize that my day is such a poster child Peace Corps Thailand day. I do leave out a lot of the miscommunications. It's not like I intended to go to the wat. I was just that everyone was making me dance and then suddenly we were at the wat. And I leave out the other the annoyances. I have like 17 thousand bug bites. Also when my sister went home at about 7:30, she told me I was staying. I explained(trying to be polite) that it was okay I didn't have to stay. I could go home with her. And she said it was okay there was about 2 more hours of it. Upon hearing that I was a little less subtle and said I don't know if I want to be here for another two hours. She seemed like she understood and said okay and 5 minutes later I realized she was gone with the car and I was stayinng till the end. Also at the wat there was the celebration that we were at and there was a funeral and there was a petangue tournament going on.

Also I'm pretty sure I have like six boyfriends ranging in age between 55 and 80. and none of them have teeth and they get kinda territorial when we're dancing. They're awesome. Also, I know none of their names. 

also one of my coworkers has his specialized trash poker because we all use one when we clean the highway. but his is hand carved into the shape of a penis. It made me really uncomfortable mostly because I was half way through asking him what it was when I realized what it was. I tried to change my question but really I just felt awkward. I don't know that he noticed though. Its weird things like that that confuse the shit outta me. Girls aren't supposed to show their shoulders at work but can wear shirts with lace backs or sheer shirts with dark bras. there are a lot of weird double standards that I am only just starting to see and still have no clue how to begin to understand them. I also have started asking my sister if what I'm wearing is okay but a while ago when we went to the beach she said I could wear my bikini if I wanted. So I really really really wanted to, but I didn't because I thought it'd be weird. It totally would've been weird. Thais all go in the ocean in full clothes. Now Get says this is because they don't want to get any darker and that is probably true but as the only foreigner I wouldve felt naked in a bikini. That said I can't wait to go hang out on a beach with a bunch of PCVs and lounge around in my bikini.

April 21

Today I made some postcards and noticed learned some things:

1) I don't know if its intentional but Thai newspapers only put in really unattractive photos of basketball. Most of the time it's not even a bad picture of a cool thing. It's usually somebody tripping or sitting down on the ground trying to wrestle a ball away or having the ball leave his hand early for some reason and his face showing his frustration. anyway they are all terrible which is to say wonderful for me.

2) I don't really know when this was cool in america but it's still cool in ads to have the angel shadow lighting. like your really back lit but its an effect. and there are sparkles in it. Yeah I don't get it but its everywhere.

3) I for real want to take home all the kids. Only some of them want to come.

Actually there's this one that reminds me a lot of Aaron(one of the twins I used to nanny for) and it's crazy because he's super standoffish and just stares at me and when I look at him he hides behind whoever he knows the best thats around. The craziest thing is I was often that person for aaron. It make me miss him but it also just makes me want to be this kids friend and have him go everywhere with me. 

also these bugs love me. I wasn't having any trouble with bug bites until recently. yes I was getting them but ever since the first rain I have gotten a bug bite every time I go anywhere. between the red ants and these weird beetle things and the flying ants. oh and the huge spider I found in the shower(like the size of my palm) and yes I did finish showering with one eye open and I have no idea where it went by the end and no I don't know what kind it was because my new tactic is not to look it up I'm not gonna go near it anyway and if I find out its gonna kill me then I won't ever want to shower or really do anything because there are bugs everywhere and they could all be deadly.

there are also things that happen every day that I forget to tell everyone about. like how every day right around dinner time my host dad walks up to my host mom and gives her a bunch of bills and she goes over to her closet/the corner of the kitchen and bends down and puts it in a safe place. every night. Now this is one of those times that I want to make up an elaborate story like he's a recovering gambling addict and she knows this so she helps him by limiting him.  Each day she gives him 100 baht (around $3) and she limits him to that amount so he won't spend all their money gambling and most night he comes home with more than what he left with, but there are nights that he comes home with nothing. Thats the kinda story I want to make up. but I have no idea of whats actually going on. That would be kinda cool in a sad way though. 

Also there's nothing to make you feel white and fat like hanging out with a bunch of thai people at the beach. This is what i did yesterday:

It occurred to me when I tried to look cool the other day and I put on my white vneck hands shirt and my coolots that I had officially become my mom circa 1991. And  the thing is at first I was a little disspointed but then I looked at my coolots and they are awesome. It's coming back I promise. 

Also if thailand has anything to say about it bedazzling, printed leggings, cat shirts, misspelled words, and mustaches are all coming back in full force. Also mickey mouse and winnie the pooh and yeah thats for adults too. 

On that note, my office, keep in mind this is the local government office, has hello kitty labels on all of the binders and drawers.  I know. This is the mayors office. Can you imagine if the Sam Adams had everything labeled with hello kitty labels?  When I see my coworker walk up with his tan uniform that looks so very much like a soldiers uniform and then his green shrek feet slippers and opening a hello kitty drawer I have to just stop and laugh at the absurdity of it all.

April 22

Today I did nothing at work. I kinda sorta practiced thai. I keep trying to practice thai and then realizing that the words that Im learning I will either never use or don't know how to use or already know them. It makes self directed learning a little frustrating. I'm gonna have to give myself more structure in the future. Anyway, after 'work' today I came to a fairly quiet house. Not that people weren't here but the elder members of my family tend not to talk to me so much. I feel like Get and I have enough of an understanding that she basically translates everything for me from speedy crazy Trat thai to slowed down central thai. Now technically these are not different but there are different accents, which also means different tones and as much as I didn't really know the tones before this still adds to the confusion. Also on that note I'm refrustrated with thai because I was all confused with the tones because in learning the alphabet people were telling me(not the wrong nayok, she's still just crazy with her tones, but thats a different story). So first some back story. In order to learn the alphabet (because there are so many different letters that have the same sounds) you learn each letter associated with a word so when you see   กอ - ไก่ thats gaw - gai (chicken). Now there are so many different complications with this language. I have already explained the fact that there are multiple letters for identical sounds and I actually mean identical, even the tones. So then theres the labeling of the consonant groups. First ก or gaw is in the middle group of consonants(at the top of the fidel chart, just to make it even more confusing). It's tone when it has a vowel attached but no ending consonant is a mid tone, but ไก่ has a tone mark on it so that makes it a low tone. So now I associate ก with low even though its a mid. It gets even worse. The high consonants aren't actually a high tone they are a rising tone and thats only when the syllable has no final consonant and of course there's no tone marker to say otherwise. And the low consonants. They are a mid tone when they are have no final consonants. Also keep in mind there are 46 consonants in these three groups and they all have thai words associated with them that may or may not be the tone that they are individually(or without a final consonants).  Now this is probably boring to you so I'll move on but I just want to point out that we haven't even got to explaining the 29 vowels and what to do with all of these 44 consonants if they are at the end of the syllable(hint: they aren't the same at all, gaw turns into k) and also the tones all change depending on what kind of final consonant you have on the end of your syllable which once again just to make it harder on everyone the breakdown of the final consonants is a total different system its not as though they said all the highs and mids are gonna be this kinda ending. I swear if I get anywhere with this language it will be a raging success. After just writing this I'm tired and amazed that anyone can understand a lick of anything that I'm saying. 

I have been practicing my typing though because I set it up so I can type in thai on my computer. You should get excited. You will maybe get letters written in that that you don't understand, but more likely it will be a sentence that took me like an hour to figure out how to write correctly. 

Today I learned:

1) That the easiest way to clean your hands after peeling jack fruit is to put what I think is gasoline on your hands and rub it around a bunch and then wash them. They will still pretty much smell like gasoline, but they will no longer be sticky. Also, just in case you were wondering, no soap doesn't work.

2)Bugs have an amazing ability to bite me in the worst places. Today I have a bug bite directly under my boob, in my armpit, just off my tailbone and directly on the waistline of my skirt. I'm over the bugs.

3)I met my first water buffalo today. Ive seen a bunch but my nephews grandpa(not my dad) have a couple and I got to meet them. There are two ladys a male and a baby and the dad was lounging in the mud pit while the rest of the fam munched grass and looked on. Obviously I forgot my camera.

4) Monks make magically things. For real though. I have had these mosquito bite scabs that have refused to heal and I have been putting on this weird smelling magical balm that a wat(temple) in Trat makes for the last three days and they are almost gone.

Also that reminded me. everyone here sniffs oils. a lot of them are monk made mentholated something but they also sell them in grocery stores and stuff. It's kinda like vics inhaler kinda stuff but its not for a runny nose, its for whenever the hell you feel like it. I haven't tried it yet and I'm not sure if I want to jump on the band wagon but its really amazing. I will be talking with my coworkers and they nonchalantly one handed take out a 10 ml container and basically stuff it up one nostril and sniff and then stuff it up the other one and sniff. I can just imagine me now getting home and doing this all the time without even realizing it. 

I got really excited the other day because I had meat that looked like pork. I was excited for two reasons. 1) it was actually pork because I have been unpleasantly surprised before. Note for the future: chicken intestines when grilled and not inspected closely look a lot like little chicken bites.  2) It was actually meat. It wasn't fat. it wasn't bone. I was real true meat. So upon reflexion I'm not sure you are getting the entire picture. This piece of meat was about a square inch in size and it loo med like pork and WAS actually pork and it looked like it was all meat and it WAS actually all meat. It was basically christmas. It actually made the rest of the pork, which basically looks and tastes like really thickly cut bacon was boiled, a little more palatable.

April 23

Today was a great day! I met a new counterpart who actually speaks english fluently which is awesome. he kept saying things that were so colloquial that it was weird. He said, I got it. about the check. Its a funny thing to notice but I was really impressed because thats the different between fluency (and having a cultural understanding) and not. He also is not from Trat. So anyway I spent the morning with him and it was lovely. Just speak english was awesome. 

Also today was a big and wonderful day but I'm tired so here are the highlights. Today I saw an albino Thai person and it was kinda creepy but really cool. We are having a Tambon 'good things festival' on thursday and I'm pretty excited about it. We're gonna have a hen fighting(I think) and a chicken(beauty?) contest. Also if we get funding from the government we might get a really expensive incinerator that kinda looks like a pizza oven but its a trash burning oven. I'm still unclear why its so expensive. I'm pretty sure I could make something similar out of cinderblocks and sheet metal. Either way it's good because they want me to teach people how to compost and recycle once we have this thing. When I mentioned that I could teach them how to compost and recycle whether or not we get the funding for this incinerator my wrong nayok simply said, well, we will talk about it. Which is kinda a shut down but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do it anyway and she's gonna love it. Also then I rode 10 kilometers into town with Get and Op behind me on the moto to pick up Op's new bike and turn around and ride home. That was the awesomest part I think. 

OOOOHH I forgot. this is mostly exciting for me but I got a new pair of shorts too.yay for me.That said I'm kinda getting into some of these asian styles and I'm debating how well they're gonna play once I get back to town. For instance I'm really into pleated shorts that kinda look like skirts and I have yet to buy one but there are so many formal jumper like things. They're kinda like the jumper version of a pant suit. I'm pretty tempted. Also they aren't nearly as 70s as they may sound.

Also it just occurred to me that 4 generations of one family are living in my house right now. That's awesome. The oldest is 92 and the youngest is 4. I didn't really realize that particular piece of awesomeness until just now. If you think about it in america I don't know anyone who knew their great grandparents. Many of my friends never even knew their grandparents. I guess I didn't know my paternal grandfather either.

Another thing. Thai people are super polite in certain ways and not so in others. So I've noticed that if I have any red spot anywhere they will always point it out and then ask if it's a bug bite. Usually its either a bug bite but today it was a pimple on my face. In the situation of the pimple its a catch 22. I tried it multiple times today because yes I was asked this question multiple times today. At first I tried to brush it off, knowing that probably wasn't gonna work but also knowing that I already felt self-conscious about it so I didn't really want to talk about it. That didn't work. They thought I didn't understand and so asked again and then asked someone else if they would ask me in english. Another person when they asked I answered, yeah its a bug bite and they went on talking about how that was weird because bugs didn't usually bite peoples faces. Usually you see them, and even when you are sleeping they still don't usually go for the face. and they sat there staring at my pimple at an utter loss as to why a mosquito would bite me there. Finally I answered one with, no it's not a bug bite. and of course that wasn't enough. 'what is it?' and I'm sorry to say the pc did not teach us the word for pimple so I had to act out popping a pimple and then two different people said two different words so I still don't know what pimple is. So yeah I kinda thought the resource volunteers were lying when they talked about how everyone at your site will point out all your physical flaws but given my experience with a pimple I'm now starting to believe every word they said.

April 24

So today I learned:

1) I'm happiest when I'm busy(relearning is still learning).

2) Alone. Its the only way to go.  (I like this because its applicable to my day and its a good postcard quote. With like a gravestone or something in the back just to make the double entendre obvious.)

3) A lot of the good things here come with a fair amount of frustrating things, but such is life I suppose.  (more on that later see visit to special education school)

4) Apparently as a teacher its okay to blatantly call out people as fat or skinny.

5) I don't have a high school in my Tambon aka village/town. So I don't really have any way to get to youth 14-18. So we'll see how that goes.

5) Meetings are a show, not a place to get things done. Things get done while your in a different meeting and your whispering in the background not paying attention to what the meetings about. Or ya know, at the wat. That actually where everything happens. 

6) There are 20-30 people(mostly kids) who go to the special education center on a regular basis. There are 4000 disabled people registered with them within the province of Trat. 

I forgot that my new counterpart yesterday when I asked him if he had to be back. he said, I already told you. I'm the big man. I don't know where or when Thai's got it in their head that big man is the new word for boss because I'm pretty sure that no ones says that in British or American English. That said I'm a huge fan. 

Okay so anyway today, I went to the Special Educaation Center in Trat and it was awesome. There was a bit of a stand off beforehand about whether or not I was going to have Pii Eye(who I called Pii U, Pii E and Pi oo and in poo before someone realized I was talking about Pii Eye- thats was pretty embarrassing and I got laughed at a lot) escort me to the school which was 3 kilometers away. I spoke to a couple different people and assured everyone I could do it kon diao (alone) and I was heading out there door and then there was Pii Eye waiting for me. That's kinda how things are done here. That's what grang jai means to me so far. They will tell you one thing to your face and then still do whatever they want to do anyway, but that way they didn't break your face. Also at this point in time if I were to explain to Pii Eye that I didn't want her company that would break her face so now I have an escort.

So Pii Eye is really into biking and keeps talking about wanting to go bike riding with me. She said she biked every day so I assume she's in pretty good shape. It took us about 25 minutes to ride 3 kilos or about 2 miles. That a 15 minute mile for a flat paved bike ride. This shit is a snails pace. Srsly, I'm pretty sure Molly (my sister) could go faster than that and she would have to first learn to ride a bike. So I start out frustrated already and I arrive at the school and she immediately takes the lead. Now also just a a reference  point, I have absolutely no idea what Pii Eye does at the tessabaan, but I'm pretty sure whatever it is it's not very important. She's got a desk in the back room that I never go into but usually I just see her lounging around the office. She's also not my favorite (in case you haven't already seen that coming). So we park our bikes when we get there and she takes charge and walks to the teacher's lounge and speaks to one of the teachers in Thai for a bit. I'm frustrated and annoyed and I basically say hello and then tune out and look around a bit. We then go to the principals office and we do the same thing. Here I'm more polite and I at least feign as though I'm paying attention but once again they are speaking fast and I probably don't care what they are saying and they clearly don't care whether or not I understand because they aren't really even speaking to me(Note: this is how I feel almost every time I'm taken places with an escort, I have no idea whats going on and I get introduced to 15 people and then they talk about me in front of me and often say incorrect things but I still don't have the energy or the desire to correct them. I have been introduced as a Math Teacher, a Nurse, a counselor, and never once have I been introduced as a Nanny.) So yeah we're in the principals office and they are talking about activities and me doing activities and then eventually we are escorted to the classroom.

Its awesome. I mean in all honesty its just a classroom but once again just like the first time I met some of the kids I immediately felt at home. It was awesome. We watched three of the older girls do a dance up on the stage while everyone else watched. Afterwards we got in a circle and I was introduced and we went around the circle and everyone told me their names. Then the teacher stopped and said, "Okay Rosie" and gestured to me…

I wasn't sure exactly what was going on. She said tam gitchagam chai mai (do an activity, right?). My mouth kinda fell open and I was sitting there trying not to look at Pii Eye for unintentionally throwing me under the bus. I politely said, 'I'm sorry. I think there's been a misunderstanding. I don't have anything planned. I have some activities but they are mostly in english and I could teach some english but it might be too difficult'. Now the fact is I could have probably done an activity but I was so blindsided and to be honest didn't particularly want to lead a class of people who were all over the board developmentally and physically and ranging in age from 2 years old to 39 years old and whom I knew none of. I wanted to come here alone to get to know everyone. To meet everyone and hang out while they do their thing and figure out what that thing is. So anyway, it ended up awesomely and we danced and sung and played some games. And they showed me their gangnam style dance which was awesome and I'm really excited to be hanging out there once a week. At one point they asked me to put baby powder on the fattest person in the circle as part of the game. I got really awkward and pretended I didn't understand. They pointed out a fat kid and so still pretending I didn't understand I put baby powder on him because they were telling me to. It was weird and I felt uncomfortable. I already have a not so secret plan but I really want to try to do a kinda special olympics thing with the school if they are interested and ideally have my future idealized youth group plan and organize it with the help of the student at the school. Maybe even have other disabled schools come too and it could be a weekend thing. Oh the ambitious  dreams I have…

So that takes us til noon. I am now totally blanking on what I did this afternoon but I did have a meeting with my wrong nayok and my nayok and we talked about a lot of things and even planned some things only to unplan them before the meeting was through. I did get invited to see 9 temples in a day with the old people. Note: I have tried to teach them the word elderly many times, but its not seeming to catch on so I think I'm just adopting old people now. Also, apparently we can't schedule weekly meetings for the three of us because they might not have time. There was no way that I could explain it that if we made a schedule to have it every wednesday then we could build our schedules around that. Or worst case scenario miss one week but most of the time we could have it. The response was, I think next week I will have more time. Which had nothing to do with anything because we were already having this weeks meeting. While my wrong nayok was distracted I did however get the okay to go to Kohn Kaen next weekend which should be awesome. 

Also giving feedback is are when they can't understand. I tried to explain that I wanted a weekly meeting with them and that I would rather not have an escort because it means that I don't speak as much Thai or English and therefore I don't build a relationship and I don't understand as much because everyone around me is speaking thai so fast. I also mentioned wanting to work with this new counterpart and not wanting to work with the primary school and she said well we will see what their plans are. Just like every other time I had voiced these concerns its almost as though she understands it perfectly and 

 I got laughed at because my nails were a different color than my toes. Like someone came over to me from across the room and was laughing saying, Rosie…Rosie and kinda shaking her head and knelt beside me and pointed to my toes and then pointed to my fingers and said they are different! As if I didn't know that. she stared at me puzzled when I said, yes? and she asked, why? I said I don't know. She said, they are supposed to be the same. And kinda shook her head at me like I was wearing underwear on my head. What a silly goose. If only she could see what I want to paint them. I'm really missing my multicolored nails. 

Then I went on a longish bike ride and listened to my music really loud and it was awesome. Today was a good day.

April 25

Today I learned:

- a new sport.

- what a mango nut was(Cashew)

- that everyone knows my name

- everyone cares if Ive eaten lunch. I was asked no less than 10 times when I walked across the yard toward the lunch station.

- that my aunt was sad because I asked her to take a picture of me and the kids I was playing with and she wanted a picture of us too.

- that thai people/my family and neighbors like watching me do yoga(we'll see where that goes)

Today was "Good Thing Festival" or at least thats how my wrong nayok (the person that speaks the best english out of everyone I speak to) translated it to me. It was awesome. It was a little market festival kinda thing at the wat with a bunch of different things that were all made in our Tambon or in surrounding tambons. It was super fun and I realized that I knew most of the people there by face(very few by name but hey with 2 Frogs, a Bocce ball, 2 joys[they're actually called joy in thai, i don't know what it means in english], an Eye and a Thursday I feel like I'm doing pretty well with those). Also random: there's a word that sounds a lot like the english word smart but it's a thai word for handsome. I swear this language was designed with the intention of confusing me. 

Anyway I learned a new game and its called saabaa law or at least when I say something like that people were okay with it. Its cool. Its played on a Petangue court and its kind...

I fell asleep. Sorry.

Also, while napping I realized I now have an elaborate system of pillows and folded blankets and whatnot to ensure no bruises and optimum temperatures. It hadn't occurred to me to get a different mattress until someone suggested it to be, but at this point as long as I have my four different specific pillows I have a perfect system.

Until next time I will leave you with this

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