Big girls don't Thai

April 12

So I forgot one kids name. His nickname is Blue. like the color. Also tonight I met a guy who i've met a couple times and he's always drunk and someone told me his nickname was Drunk and I thought it was great until I realized they didn't speak english so they must've said something else. So I checked for understanding(like were supposed to do when were teaching) and they said yes Drunk like gap gap gap gap. At this point I realize that they are saying duck, so they do know some english and it's actually the english that I taught them last week when they were all sitting around in a circle at my house getting drunk. So i guess the point is they learned something and I'm still gonna call this dude Drunk.

Also today I learned that the naam at lom kiao or what they call naam kiao here is not in fact the green sweet sugar water I thought it was but in fact it's cream soda. It's not that I am necessarily excited by this fact but more perturbed. Why should cream soda be electric green? There is no part of cream nor soda that should be green. Let alone be called green water. Also the reason I thought it was green sugar water was because naam deng or red water is often actually water with some red syrup in it. But today I also learned that that is different from what they called naam deng tonight which was the red soda(still unclear on the flavor of that one). Apparently they call them both naam deng but it depend on the situation what you're talking about. At this point I just want to ask someone to get me some naam deng and see what shows up. Knowing thailand like I do it would be a totally different new thing that is either the best thing ever or something that immediately makes me want to throw up and poop out all my insides at the same time.

Today my sister was wearing a shirt that had a big picture of minnie mouse on it. At the top it said OH SHIT ITS(the its was partly covered by a pocket) all the way around the large minnie mouse in a circle it said WHERE ARE YOU FROM? and then below that it said MONDAY TOMORROW.  It took me all day of staring at it to try to figure out that 'oh shit its monday tomorrow' went together, but it still makes absolutely no sense. and why is the word shit on a tshirt with minnie? I mean thats just the first of a whole load of questions. I kinda want to talk to everyone who touched that shirt and see if anyone can speak a single word of english.

Also tonight I made fried chicken for my sisters birthday and it was super fun and cute and awesome and we grilled meat on this little grill/soup maker thing and it was awesome. I also had a really good talk with my pii gop's boyfriend who's a nurse who works at the tessabaan and asked him about problems in trat and he said AIDs and teen pregnancy and drunk driving and I was explaining what my job was and it reinvigorated me to actually do my job which is awesome.

also today I learned:

-Pii Dip- is the thai word for the spirit of the uncreamated dead which is a really stupid and complicated and debatably incorrect way to say zombie, but zombie is what it means

-My 26 year old sister Get is terrified of thunder and lightning and if theres a thunder storm when she's supposed to come home from work she either waits it out or makes her 70 year old dad come get her. Today after about five minutes of a thunder storm she said 'okay thats it. I'm not taking a shower tonight. because she was to scared.

-the us government requires a bank guarantee for thais to go to the US for travel. aka the US government has to confirm that thais have enough money in their bank account that when they go to america they aren't going there to work. (Now I take this with a ton of salt because it was said in a conversation where most of the individuals with the information were drunk and seem to enjoy teaching me things but besides that I think it could be true.)

April 13

Today I learned:

-instead of hugging everyone for new years Thailand had a country wide water fight and then smears baby powder on your face often aggressively and wishes you a happy new year

-I have broken my public masterbation cherry - in that I saw it. I did not do it.

-Two new ways to be cold in thailand: water fights with ice water and taking a shower after a sunburn(its only for like a second but it still counts)

-I never knew how many people could fit in the back of a truck. I think the fewest I counted was 7. 

-Apparently I'm wei-ing all wrong when i'm at the wat. 

-Everyone I introduce myself to remembers my name and says hi to me every time they see me which is lovely but often I have no idea who they are. Also I recently figured out that some of them I haven't actually met but they have heard about me and will act as though we have until I ask. 

-best DIY zombie makeup is wake up a 5 am and then in the afternoon hold a 5 hour water fight or until all your digits are super wrinkled and then dry off and put some baby powder on. add color if needed. 

Today was super fun. First we woke up 5 and made merit aka went to the temple and listened to monks chant and gave alms and ate breakfast. Then we came home and I immediately took a nap because we had nothing to do til noon. Then at noon we all went to the dal at in amphur muang or downtown Trat and literally had a water fight for 5 hours. I'm not sure I can do it justice but I will try. So the first time we showed up we had two trash cans full of water in the back of a pickup and literally just poured water on anyone we saw which was fine because everyone else was doing it too. As I learned throughout the day there are people who have cold water, warm water and there are a bunch of people selling ice so there's also the ice cold water. Also a bunch of people siphon water up from the river so once you are downtown you can refill your trash cans and you don't have to go all the way(5-10 minutes) back to your home. I got a couple good pictures that I will put up(mostly on fb because its the easy one stop shop for my photos). Its pretty crazy. Also I had a cut on my arm so I put on a band aid this morning and I don't think I would've known I had gotten any color if I hadn't but not it's pretty obvious. Also because I was a farang actually playing in the water fight I got a lot of special attention too so I got extra wet. Also at some point in the day the baby powder came out, I don't remember it happening earlier but maybe I just didn't notice. Anyway they make a paste like thing out of baby powder or cooling powder or prickly heat or some thing else that I don't know and put it on your forehead and cheeks or sometimes you're whole face. Now this is usually basically fine. I mean you get your usual creepers that always have to tell everyone they are beautiful before they do it or the ones that try to have a conversation with you or even the super aggressive ones that seem to think they have to get your whole face white and pretend they are knocking you out with ether. All of those aren't so bad. But when it's the cooling powder that's the worst. Best case scenario its burning your cheeks, worst case scenario you can't see and every things burning. 

Also a great moment: I was walking around with my younger sister(the one who studies in bangkok) and watching the parade that randomly happened in the middle of the afternoon and were basically walking in the parade and she stops and points up and says, 'look farangs' and in the lane next to the parade was a tour bus full of farangs. Like literally probably 100 white people just staring at me. Honestly I was kinda excited to see a farang because I haven't seen one since I got here and then I was all proud of myself for being 'integrated' into the culture and 'really experiencing' it and not just sitting on a tour bus going from place to place. So I responded with a laugh and, 'yeah, far-' and got hit in the face with a huge bucketful of ice water from the car I was like a foot from. So I guess that's what I get for being all holier than thou and whatnot. 

April 14

I think sometimes I forget to be funny because I'm trying to be professional. Just fyi, also things are less funny when none understands them. Like something that I would usually make fun of here isn't funny to all the thai people because its just the way it it. Like for instance the fact that they drink everything out of straws. They drink EVERYTHING out of straws. you want some milk…heres a straw. you want some beer. heres a warm bottle, a cup that holds about 6 ounces that is full of ice and yep can't forget the straw. All of these things are funny, but not so much to thai people because its just what they do. 

I just killed three bugs that were crawling on me and I have no idea what they were and I didn't think anything of it. This is what Peace Corps all about. This is what I call adapting.

Today I met an awesome old man on my bike ride. Well actually I stopped to get food because I realized it was 3 and I hadn't eaten lunch so I stopped at the market and realized it was the first time I have gotten anything for myself since I have been to site(which is insane). Actually side note I thought about this today and I have earned money since getting to site(minus rent) because I have danced at two different venues and given 100 baht each time(a little more that $3). I have now spent about 45 baht. So I have made 55 baht since I've been here. CRAZY. Anyway so today I spend 45 baht on lunch which I decided I wanted to try one of everything so I got a skewer of everything the lady had and a pepsi. So I had like 8 skewers of meat. All pretty usual. Fish balls(not actual balls but its ground up and formed into balls), pork balls, hot dog, gai yang or grilled chicken and some other stuff that I wasn't sure what it was but it didn't taste weird so I assume it was some form of the above. 

Anyway I suddenly hear, hello. you. hello. you. and I get dragged into the neighbors house because she speak english. I meet this lovely family that is full of teachers. The dad Kuuson is 87 and he adorable and old and came outside with him walker with a beautifully bright smile to say hi. He is also super touchy for a dude. He was touching my like the yaais usually do(minus the boob touches and the butt slaps that they yaai's seem to love). He kept holding my hand and then putting our hands in his lap a little close to his crotch that I was comfortable with but he was such a cute old man that I couldn't believe it was with malicious intent. Also Old people can basically do whatever they want in thailand.

Here are some pictures:

This is Kuuson

This is his english teacher daughter.

So this afternoon I was lying in our 'living room' which is really just a 12 by 12 wood bench in the middle of what I would have probably called a garage in america. I was doing this while all the other adults in my family were distributing dirt in the garden so that they could level it before the rainy season. They wouldn't let me help. Okay to be honest I only offered once and they said not to worry but I'm pretty sure even if I had insisted they wouldn't have let me help(or at least I'm gonna delude myself into thinking that). So they were doing that for a couple hours and then they all came in to the living room(garage) and my paw walks to the middle and just undoes his belt and unzips his pants. I start looking around being a little weirded out and feeling even weirder because no one else is reacting. Also weird interlude. He's wearing dark like black pants that I would usually associate with business attire. They aren't super nice but they were pressed at one time and they are still a somewhat respectable shade of black so I don't really understand why these are his work pants(I've seen some other pants of his that would make way more sense to work in. at least in my humble opinion). So yeah he drops trough and it turns out he has his shorts on underneath. So it's like 100 million degrees outside(okay today it was actually a cool 80, but still) and he is doing yard work with two pairs of pants on. I sooo don't understand. 

April 15

Today was just an all around great day. I woke to the usual rooster outside my window at about 5:30 in the morning. Which by the way happens every day and I'm not sure how I have forgotten to mention it until now, but it's actually kinda awesome because that is the really loud alarm that wakes me up. And ya know when you bolt upright at like 7:30 on a saturday and then realize you get to sleep longer, I get that every day. I can't even believe myself when I say shit like that but I actually have that thought every morning. Oh fuck! Oh wait nope it just the rooster that is outside my open window(like literally 4 feet from my head and no I can't close it because then it would be balls hot and smell like a moldy laundry basket in my room) and now I get to sleep for another hour. 

Okay so yeah I woke up and I decided that I didn't want to go make merit this morning, but the problem is no one is really downstairs at 6 in the morning so I set a new alarm to wake up to tell my family I wasn't gonna go to the wat(temple) this morning and then went back to sleep. I puttered around all morning and read and slept and slowly woke up. And by the time everyone came back from the wat they had a project. We were making kanoms. So I don't know the name of these kanoms but they are super fun to make because you basically make a sugary paste and then make little mini fruit and paint them with food coloring. But when you are making them by yourself you can make whatever you want. At first I started with fruit that they arent very common here like strawberries or blackberries(that was hard because they have to be super small and I have man hands). but then it quickly turned into mustaches and dinosaurs and glasses and snow men. It was super fun and now we have like 17 tupperwares full of mostly fruit shapes but also my weird ones and the Dat's awesome creepy bunny/joker face and other such gems.  

Here are the pretty adult made ones:

Here are mine and Dats aka some of my favorite ones:

There were some good funnies today too. Get today forgot an english word I taught her and I've been trying to wait a little longer and try to let her figure it out before I just give her the answer so she said, law law law(the thai word) oh right man some. --I want to believe that you can figure out what she means but just in case the word was handsome.

oh and some family members came by to honor my ya today because I guess thats what you do around the new year(thats why old people day is right before new years). And it was super cute two of my cousins came and they were both slick dudes with slacks and collared shirts and seemed very much so Bangkokians and they walked in and kneeled on the ground and hugs their grandma and were kissed her and were just in such adoration that I was so amazed. In their honoring of her they poured water over her hands and washed her feet and then put her feet on top of their heads while kneeling in from of her. That is huge. The head-foot concept in thai culture is a huge deal and to put someones feet on your head is basically saying that even their shit is better than anything in you. It was adorable. Also afterwards they were joking with her and it was the first time I've really seen her lighten up or even really talk. Also we had our first conversation today which involved a couple back and forths and then one of my cousins egged her on to speak english and she turns to me and in barely an accent she says, Thank You. And everyone erupts in laughter and smile. I've decided I'm gonna try to make her laugh more because I think thats the secret to long life.

On the subject of laughter. One of my aunts is awesome. She is a farmer so I sometimes see her on my bike rides and she always want to sit and chat. She also is my meh's closest sibling/friend. She comes by the house almost every night to visit with my meh. But its kinda weird because she almost always comes to our house to visit for about 15 minutes only to then have my meh go to her house to visit for another 20 minutes or so. I've done it with them a couple times and I can't see the rhyme or reason to it but it works for them so I let it go. So anyway, back to the story, so I'm sitting in my room after my shower counting the number of bug bites I got in the 15 minutes that I was outside helping my meh harvest peanuts(over 20, and they covered all the worst places. toe, knuckle, knee, 5 on my butt) and the room to my door opens. In walks my aunt, not really noticing or caring that I am only half clothed, telling me we're going to her house. This is one of those things that I've forgotten to mention also. Often things will be said and sometimes they're phrased as a question but most of the time they aren't. This does not mean that you are required to do them, but often it is easier than the alternative. In part because people will probably ask you what you will do and saying you were just gonna finish counting your bug bites is not really an acceptable reason to not go visit with family. So yeah. I went over to her house. She automatically wanted to feed me so I have to try everything she gives me and it was all awesome and I was utterly stuffed already. And I know that this sounds like I'm complaining about eating delicious food(her food is delicious!) and I am. You will understand if(aka when) you come here. I had just eaten two bowls of rice with other things and a handful of sugar filled kanoms. I'm so stuffed in fact that at the next house we went to the joke was made that I am going to have a baby. They loved that one. They pointed out I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have a husband but I'm gonna have a baby and laughed and laughed and laughed. 

Also, backtracking a little bit, before we went over to the house we were all sitting at my aunts house and she turned and asked me something but I didn't understand part of it and I turned to get and she turned to me and gave me a hilarious evil rich man laugh. Which I immediately cracked up at but completely understood to mean laughing. Which then made me pause because I understood everything else in the question so it turns out she was asking me if I wanted to go over to the neighbors house to laugh. I mean, really? How can you say no to a question like that? And so we went over and laughed and killed mosquitos and packed turtle eggs but I'll leave that for a different day.

Also, theres a bag of frogs in our kitchen that my older brother caught the other day and I'm pretty sure they are just slowly dying. They haven't had water in like 3 days and I feel like its inhumane and its not like I really care about frogs but I feel a little weird about it. Not to mention the fact that I think thats a really weird way to kill them. Why not just knock them out or stab them or something? It also just doesn't smell very good. not that they ever smell very good. I don't know. I feel weird about it. 

Also I'm really into pictures these days so here are some pictures of the frogs from before:

number one: they are huge, and once again half of them were pregnant.

This is me helping prepare them.

This is the preparation. aka only taking out the hind leg bones and just breaking everyhting else up into bite size chucks.

April 16

At this point if I touch unexpectedly or if something unexpectedly touches me I assume it is a bug. There's a 50/50 chance that I'll look at it and there's a 100% chance that I don't want to know what it is. Its usually an ant but it could be a moquito or any of the other basically innocuous bugs or it could be any of the terrible horrible no good very bad bugs that kill you(or so my brain says in the middle of the night. but also I'm pretty sure we don't really have that many of those). The other day I convinced myself I had dengue fever for no other reason than I remembered that they had a dengue fever prevention program here and I was tired. 

But there are crazy things here. My friend found a tarantula in his bed and scooped it up in a bag and showed it to his home stay sister and she just shrugged and there the bag in the trash. But I have gotten uncomfortably comfortable with insects crawling on me at all times. I'm still just amazed at these ants. They are everywhere. All the time. There are like 5 different kinds too. Sometimes you get multiples. I went to the store this weekend and got in the car afterwards and found an ant on me and I got crazy excited because I realized I hadn't seen an ant on me for like a whole hour. I don't remember where that place was but I want to live in the magical place where ants don't live.

Also I would like to live in a place with no mold. This has only recently become a problem. but it is becoming a very annoying problem because my room now smells like I'm growing a sweaty fetus in wet wool. I think I've found the culprit: my winter jacket(srsly what the hell was I thinking, the record low in bangkok is 50 degrees F) that was still in the bottom of a box. Anyway, my room still smells like buttonhole and I haven't figured out how to dry my laundry between the 85 degrees with 80% humidity and the 75 degrees and pouring.

April 17

So guess what was on the dinner table last night! The frogs! I decided not to eat them despite the fact that they were fried and when they are fried they are awesome. I kinda thought eating them would make me gag and I do that at the dinner table enough already when I'm not expecting to.

Also there's a crazy chorus outside my window tonight. Like sounds I've never heard. It kinda makes me think of that scene in the Little Mermaid when it's kiss the girl and all I need is Sebastian to come in right about now. Anyway, I made a little video. I hope it works: UPDATE: it got cute short but here it is:

(Also that thing that kinda like a frog and kinda like a toad is a bullfrog and its thai name is ung aang because thats what it sounds like.)

So its been raining for the last two days straight. I don't miss the rain any more. I'm actually almost cold. I was actually cold twice today because apparently when its raining and a pleasant 70 and pouring people forget to turn off the ac in their cars so you go from kinda wet but still comfortable to freezing in a matter of seconds. Ohhh woe is me!! Also I was supposed to go on a bike ride this morning and instead I was driven around town doing Luk's errands with Luk and Eye, who at the tessabaan, but don't worry all our bikes in the back of the car so they went for a ride at least. 

Today I learned:

- The word for turtle dove. Its Nok kao. This also happens to be the word for penis. I can't wait to have that misunderstanding. "I sell penises."(penii?)

-Drug addition is a problem in Trat but from what I understand there is not really anything anyone does about it. I have yet to figure out if this is a communication issue or the reality of the situation. I'm leaning towards the latter. In addition, I will probably not be able to work with the addict community because my wrong nayok thinks its not safe. She is often over protective but I will wait and see about this one.

- Today all the pu yai bans(village chiefs) set up a rest stop on the highway because it was the end of a long holiday weekend. I think the idea is a lot of people would be traveling home after the holiday and may have been driving for a long time. They had food, water, juice, coffee and food. I'm pretty sure no one except villagers stopped by. But hey I got a free lunch out of it.

-teaching family relations is difficult in thailand. they have one word that signifies any kid within the extended family thats not your offspring so in thai lan is niece, nephew, granddaughter, grandson, cousin's son, etc. And yet they have 3 words that mean aunt: bpaa- father or mothers older sister, aa- fathers younger sister, naa - mothers younger sister and 3 words for uncle: lung - father or mother's older brother, aa - fathers younger brother, naa - mothers younger brother. So yeah. 

April 18

Today I had to go to the plus size stall at the market in order to find shorts. I was told my fingernails were not pretty(they don't use the word ugly) because they were too short, which is another thing that I will go into sometime. Fingernails are weird here. and often grossly long but different lengths. Okay I guess I'll go into it now. So I've been told that they want all their digits to be the same length because its regal/godlike/buddhalike so because their fingers aren't all the same length (ya know bc that would be weird) some people grow their shorter finger's nails out so that their hand looks like it has finger all the same length. So this never really works but that was the explanation I got for why some people have really long finger nails. Like everything here I take it with a large heaping bag of salt but I thought it was interesting none the less. Anyway back to my day. I was asked by my nephew Dhat why I had fur on my legs. And I was told by two different women that they could find me a fan(boyfriend) if I wanted one. They already knew guys who were law(handsome) and thought I was suai(pretty). Also, I got absolutely no work done, but I ate about 3 lunches while 'working' in the community aka getting to know people aka people telling me to eat things and watching me and asking if I think they are delicious. Also I found out that the kids in the house will be leaving when school starts again which makes me sad.

That was my day. It wasn't a great one, but they're were some gems. Also I'm always tired. Mostly until about 5 pm and then I'm wide awake. I don't understand it. I wake up anywhere from 5 am to 7:30 am and yet I can't seem to be tired when its time to sleep. 

April 19

My brain hurts. I can't understand thai anymore. I'm hitting a wall. I'm too tired to try. 

Also today I thought I was going to lunch. As I did technically eat lunch but I actually went to the wat and make merit. I think my favorite thing about this culture is making merit means going to a temple eating and then dancing around the wat three times with a bunch of women over the age of 70.

Here are a couple photos and a video:

I also spend most of the afternoon making merit. After I picked up trash on the side of the road with all my fellow tessabaan employees, I studied thai for an hour and then heard some music downstairs and it turned out the band and the dancers had danced to the tessabaan. So I joined in with them and the next thing I know I'm still at the wat 5 hours later. Sometimes when I hear myself talking about my day in my head(or sometimes out loud in english that nobody understands) I realize that my day is such a poster child Peace Corps Thailand day. I do leave out a lot of the miscommunications. It's not like I intended to go to the wat. I was just that everyone was making me dance and then suddenly we were at the wat. And I leave out the other the annoyances. I have like 17 thousand bug bites. Also when my sister went home at about 7:30, she told me I was staying. I explained(trying to be polite) that it was okay I didn't have to stay. I could go home with her. And she said it was okay there was about 2 more hours of it. Upon hearing that I was a little less subtle and said I don't know if I want to be here for another two hours. She seemed like she understood and said okay and 5 minutes later I realized she was gone with the car and I was stayinng till the end. Also at the wat there was the celebration that we were at and there was a funeral and there was a petangue tournament going on.

Also I'm pretty sure I have like six boyfriends ranging in age between 55 and 80. and none of them have teeth and they get kinda territorial when we're dancing. They're awesome. Also, I know none of their names. 

also one of my coworkers has his specialized trash poker because we all use one when we clean the highway. but his is hand carved into the shape of a penis. It made me really uncomfortable mostly because I was half way through asking him what it was when I realized what it was. I tried to change my question but really I just felt awkward. I don't know that he noticed though. Its weird things like that that confuse the shit outta me. Girls aren't supposed to show their shoulders at work but can wear shirts with lace backs or sheer shirts with dark bras. there are a lot of weird double standards that I am only just starting to see and still have no clue how to begin to understand them. I also have started asking my sister if what I'm wearing is okay but a while ago when we went to the beach she said I could wear my bikini if I wanted. So I really really really wanted to, but I didn't because I thought it'd be weird. It totally would've been weird. Thais all go in the ocean in full clothes. Now Get says this is because they don't want to get any darker and that is probably true but as the only foreigner I wouldve felt naked in a bikini. That said I can't wait to go hang out on a beach with a bunch of PCVs and lounge around in my bikini.

April 21

Today I made some postcards and noticed learned some things:

1) I don't know if its intentional but Thai newspapers only put in really unattractive photos of basketball. Most of the time it's not even a bad picture of a cool thing. It's usually somebody tripping or sitting down on the ground trying to wrestle a ball away or having the ball leave his hand early for some reason and his face showing his frustration. anyway they are all terrible which is to say wonderful for me.

2) I don't really know when this was cool in america but it's still cool in ads to have the angel shadow lighting. like your really back lit but its an effect. and there are sparkles in it. Yeah I don't get it but its everywhere.

3) I for real want to take home all the kids. Only some of them want to come.

Actually there's this one that reminds me a lot of Aaron(one of the twins I used to nanny for) and it's crazy because he's super standoffish and just stares at me and when I look at him he hides behind whoever he knows the best thats around. The craziest thing is I was often that person for aaron. It make me miss him but it also just makes me want to be this kids friend and have him go everywhere with me. 

also these bugs love me. I wasn't having any trouble with bug bites until recently. yes I was getting them but ever since the first rain I have gotten a bug bite every time I go anywhere. between the red ants and these weird beetle things and the flying ants. oh and the huge spider I found in the shower(like the size of my palm) and yes I did finish showering with one eye open and I have no idea where it went by the end and no I don't know what kind it was because my new tactic is not to look it up I'm not gonna go near it anyway and if I find out its gonna kill me then I won't ever want to shower or really do anything because there are bugs everywhere and they could all be deadly.

there are also things that happen every day that I forget to tell everyone about. like how every day right around dinner time my host dad walks up to my host mom and gives her a bunch of bills and she goes over to her closet/the corner of the kitchen and bends down and puts it in a safe place. every night. Now this is one of those times that I want to make up an elaborate story like he's a recovering gambling addict and she knows this so she helps him by limiting him.  Each day she gives him 100 baht (around $3) and she limits him to that amount so he won't spend all their money gambling and most night he comes home with more than what he left with, but there are nights that he comes home with nothing. Thats the kinda story I want to make up. but I have no idea of whats actually going on. That would be kinda cool in a sad way though. 

Also there's nothing to make you feel white and fat like hanging out with a bunch of thai people at the beach. This is what i did yesterday:

It occurred to me when I tried to look cool the other day and I put on my white vneck hands shirt and my coolots that I had officially become my mom circa 1991. And  the thing is at first I was a little disspointed but then I looked at my coolots and they are awesome. It's coming back I promise. 

Also if thailand has anything to say about it bedazzling, printed leggings, cat shirts, misspelled words, and mustaches are all coming back in full force. Also mickey mouse and winnie the pooh and yeah thats for adults too. 

On that note, my office, keep in mind this is the local government office, has hello kitty labels on all of the binders and drawers.  I know. This is the mayors office. Can you imagine if the Sam Adams had everything labeled with hello kitty labels?  When I see my coworker walk up with his tan uniform that looks so very much like a soldiers uniform and then his green shrek feet slippers and opening a hello kitty drawer I have to just stop and laugh at the absurdity of it all.

April 22

Today I did nothing at work. I kinda sorta practiced thai. I keep trying to practice thai and then realizing that the words that Im learning I will either never use or don't know how to use or already know them. It makes self directed learning a little frustrating. I'm gonna have to give myself more structure in the future. Anyway, after 'work' today I came to a fairly quiet house. Not that people weren't here but the elder members of my family tend not to talk to me so much. I feel like Get and I have enough of an understanding that she basically translates everything for me from speedy crazy Trat thai to slowed down central thai. Now technically these are not different but there are different accents, which also means different tones and as much as I didn't really know the tones before this still adds to the confusion. Also on that note I'm refrustrated with thai because I was all confused with the tones because in learning the alphabet people were telling me(not the wrong nayok, she's still just crazy with her tones, but thats a different story). So first some back story. In order to learn the alphabet (because there are so many different letters that have the same sounds) you learn each letter associated with a word so when you see   กอ - ไก่ thats gaw - gai (chicken). Now there are so many different complications with this language. I have already explained the fact that there are multiple letters for identical sounds and I actually mean identical, even the tones. So then theres the labeling of the consonant groups. First ก or gaw is in the middle group of consonants(at the top of the fidel chart, just to make it even more confusing). It's tone when it has a vowel attached but no ending consonant is a mid tone, but ไก่ has a tone mark on it so that makes it a low tone. So now I associate ก with low even though its a mid. It gets even worse. The high consonants aren't actually a high tone they are a rising tone and thats only when the syllable has no final consonant and of course there's no tone marker to say otherwise. And the low consonants. They are a mid tone when they are have no final consonants. Also keep in mind there are 46 consonants in these three groups and they all have thai words associated with them that may or may not be the tone that they are individually(or without a final consonants).  Now this is probably boring to you so I'll move on but I just want to point out that we haven't even got to explaining the 29 vowels and what to do with all of these 44 consonants if they are at the end of the syllable(hint: they aren't the same at all, gaw turns into k) and also the tones all change depending on what kind of final consonant you have on the end of your syllable which once again just to make it harder on everyone the breakdown of the final consonants is a total different system its not as though they said all the highs and mids are gonna be this kinda ending. I swear if I get anywhere with this language it will be a raging success. After just writing this I'm tired and amazed that anyone can understand a lick of anything that I'm saying. 

I have been practicing my typing though because I set it up so I can type in thai on my computer. You should get excited. You will maybe get letters written in that that you don't understand, but more likely it will be a sentence that took me like an hour to figure out how to write correctly. 

Today I learned:

1) That the easiest way to clean your hands after peeling jack fruit is to put what I think is gasoline on your hands and rub it around a bunch and then wash them. They will still pretty much smell like gasoline, but they will no longer be sticky. Also, just in case you were wondering, no soap doesn't work.

2)Bugs have an amazing ability to bite me in the worst places. Today I have a bug bite directly under my boob, in my armpit, just off my tailbone and directly on the waistline of my skirt. I'm over the bugs.

3)I met my first water buffalo today. Ive seen a bunch but my nephews grandpa(not my dad) have a couple and I got to meet them. There are two ladys a male and a baby and the dad was lounging in the mud pit while the rest of the fam munched grass and looked on. Obviously I forgot my camera.

4) Monks make magically things. For real though. I have had these mosquito bite scabs that have refused to heal and I have been putting on this weird smelling magical balm that a wat(temple) in Trat makes for the last three days and they are almost gone.

Also that reminded me. everyone here sniffs oils. a lot of them are monk made mentholated something but they also sell them in grocery stores and stuff. It's kinda like vics inhaler kinda stuff but its not for a runny nose, its for whenever the hell you feel like it. I haven't tried it yet and I'm not sure if I want to jump on the band wagon but its really amazing. I will be talking with my coworkers and they nonchalantly one handed take out a 10 ml container and basically stuff it up one nostril and sniff and then stuff it up the other one and sniff. I can just imagine me now getting home and doing this all the time without even realizing it. 

I got really excited the other day because I had meat that looked like pork. I was excited for two reasons. 1) it was actually pork because I have been unpleasantly surprised before. Note for the future: chicken intestines when grilled and not inspected closely look a lot like little chicken bites.  2) It was actually meat. It wasn't fat. it wasn't bone. I was real true meat. So upon reflexion I'm not sure you are getting the entire picture. This piece of meat was about a square inch in size and it loo med like pork and WAS actually pork and it looked like it was all meat and it WAS actually all meat. It was basically christmas. It actually made the rest of the pork, which basically looks and tastes like really thickly cut bacon was boiled, a little more palatable.

April 23

Today was a great day! I met a new counterpart who actually speaks english fluently which is awesome. he kept saying things that were so colloquial that it was weird. He said, I got it. about the check. Its a funny thing to notice but I was really impressed because thats the different between fluency (and having a cultural understanding) and not. He also is not from Trat. So anyway I spent the morning with him and it was lovely. Just speak english was awesome. 

Also today was a big and wonderful day but I'm tired so here are the highlights. Today I saw an albino Thai person and it was kinda creepy but really cool. We are having a Tambon 'good things festival' on thursday and I'm pretty excited about it. We're gonna have a hen fighting(I think) and a chicken(beauty?) contest. Also if we get funding from the government we might get a really expensive incinerator that kinda looks like a pizza oven but its a trash burning oven. I'm still unclear why its so expensive. I'm pretty sure I could make something similar out of cinderblocks and sheet metal. Either way it's good because they want me to teach people how to compost and recycle once we have this thing. When I mentioned that I could teach them how to compost and recycle whether or not we get the funding for this incinerator my wrong nayok simply said, well, we will talk about it. Which is kinda a shut down but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do it anyway and she's gonna love it. Also then I rode 10 kilometers into town with Get and Op behind me on the moto to pick up Op's new bike and turn around and ride home. That was the awesomest part I think. 

OOOOHH I forgot. this is mostly exciting for me but I got a new pair of shorts too.yay for me.That said I'm kinda getting into some of these asian styles and I'm debating how well they're gonna play once I get back to town. For instance I'm really into pleated shorts that kinda look like skirts and I have yet to buy one but there are so many formal jumper like things. They're kinda like the jumper version of a pant suit. I'm pretty tempted. Also they aren't nearly as 70s as they may sound.

Also it just occurred to me that 4 generations of one family are living in my house right now. That's awesome. The oldest is 92 and the youngest is 4. I didn't really realize that particular piece of awesomeness until just now. If you think about it in america I don't know anyone who knew their great grandparents. Many of my friends never even knew their grandparents. I guess I didn't know my paternal grandfather either.

Another thing. Thai people are super polite in certain ways and not so in others. So I've noticed that if I have any red spot anywhere they will always point it out and then ask if it's a bug bite. Usually its either a bug bite but today it was a pimple on my face. In the situation of the pimple its a catch 22. I tried it multiple times today because yes I was asked this question multiple times today. At first I tried to brush it off, knowing that probably wasn't gonna work but also knowing that I already felt self-conscious about it so I didn't really want to talk about it. That didn't work. They thought I didn't understand and so asked again and then asked someone else if they would ask me in english. Another person when they asked I answered, yeah its a bug bite and they went on talking about how that was weird because bugs didn't usually bite peoples faces. Usually you see them, and even when you are sleeping they still don't usually go for the face. and they sat there staring at my pimple at an utter loss as to why a mosquito would bite me there. Finally I answered one with, no it's not a bug bite. and of course that wasn't enough. 'what is it?' and I'm sorry to say the pc did not teach us the word for pimple so I had to act out popping a pimple and then two different people said two different words so I still don't know what pimple is. So yeah I kinda thought the resource volunteers were lying when they talked about how everyone at your site will point out all your physical flaws but given my experience with a pimple I'm now starting to believe every word they said.

April 24

So today I learned:

1) I'm happiest when I'm busy(relearning is still learning).

2) Alone. Its the only way to go.  (I like this because its applicable to my day and its a good postcard quote. With like a gravestone or something in the back just to make the double entendre obvious.)

3) A lot of the good things here come with a fair amount of frustrating things, but such is life I suppose.  (more on that later see visit to special education school)

4) Apparently as a teacher its okay to blatantly call out people as fat or skinny.

5) I don't have a high school in my Tambon aka village/town. So I don't really have any way to get to youth 14-18. So we'll see how that goes.

5) Meetings are a show, not a place to get things done. Things get done while your in a different meeting and your whispering in the background not paying attention to what the meetings about. Or ya know, at the wat. That actually where everything happens. 

6) There are 20-30 people(mostly kids) who go to the special education center on a regular basis. There are 4000 disabled people registered with them within the province of Trat. 

I forgot that my new counterpart yesterday when I asked him if he had to be back. he said, I already told you. I'm the big man. I don't know where or when Thai's got it in their head that big man is the new word for boss because I'm pretty sure that no ones says that in British or American English. That said I'm a huge fan. 

Okay so anyway today, I went to the Special Educaation Center in Trat and it was awesome. There was a bit of a stand off beforehand about whether or not I was going to have Pii Eye(who I called Pii U, Pii E and Pi oo and in poo before someone realized I was talking about Pii Eye- thats was pretty embarrassing and I got laughed at a lot) escort me to the school which was 3 kilometers away. I spoke to a couple different people and assured everyone I could do it kon diao (alone) and I was heading out there door and then there was Pii Eye waiting for me. That's kinda how things are done here. That's what grang jai means to me so far. They will tell you one thing to your face and then still do whatever they want to do anyway, but that way they didn't break your face. Also at this point in time if I were to explain to Pii Eye that I didn't want her company that would break her face so now I have an escort.

So Pii Eye is really into biking and keeps talking about wanting to go bike riding with me. She said she biked every day so I assume she's in pretty good shape. It took us about 25 minutes to ride 3 kilos or about 2 miles. That a 15 minute mile for a flat paved bike ride. This shit is a snails pace. Srsly, I'm pretty sure Molly (my sister) could go faster than that and she would have to first learn to ride a bike. So I start out frustrated already and I arrive at the school and she immediately takes the lead. Now also just a a reference  point, I have absolutely no idea what Pii Eye does at the tessabaan, but I'm pretty sure whatever it is it's not very important. She's got a desk in the back room that I never go into but usually I just see her lounging around the office. She's also not my favorite (in case you haven't already seen that coming). So we park our bikes when we get there and she takes charge and walks to the teacher's lounge and speaks to one of the teachers in Thai for a bit. I'm frustrated and annoyed and I basically say hello and then tune out and look around a bit. We then go to the principals office and we do the same thing. Here I'm more polite and I at least feign as though I'm paying attention but once again they are speaking fast and I probably don't care what they are saying and they clearly don't care whether or not I understand because they aren't really even speaking to me(Note: this is how I feel almost every time I'm taken places with an escort, I have no idea whats going on and I get introduced to 15 people and then they talk about me in front of me and often say incorrect things but I still don't have the energy or the desire to correct them. I have been introduced as a Math Teacher, a Nurse, a counselor, and never once have I been introduced as a Nanny.) So yeah we're in the principals office and they are talking about activities and me doing activities and then eventually we are escorted to the classroom.

Its awesome. I mean in all honesty its just a classroom but once again just like the first time I met some of the kids I immediately felt at home. It was awesome. We watched three of the older girls do a dance up on the stage while everyone else watched. Afterwards we got in a circle and I was introduced and we went around the circle and everyone told me their names. Then the teacher stopped and said, "Okay Rosie" and gestured to me…

I wasn't sure exactly what was going on. She said tam gitchagam chai mai (do an activity, right?). My mouth kinda fell open and I was sitting there trying not to look at Pii Eye for unintentionally throwing me under the bus. I politely said, 'I'm sorry. I think there's been a misunderstanding. I don't have anything planned. I have some activities but they are mostly in english and I could teach some english but it might be too difficult'. Now the fact is I could have probably done an activity but I was so blindsided and to be honest didn't particularly want to lead a class of people who were all over the board developmentally and physically and ranging in age from 2 years old to 39 years old and whom I knew none of. I wanted to come here alone to get to know everyone. To meet everyone and hang out while they do their thing and figure out what that thing is. So anyway, it ended up awesomely and we danced and sung and played some games. And they showed me their gangnam style dance which was awesome and I'm really excited to be hanging out there once a week. At one point they asked me to put baby powder on the fattest person in the circle as part of the game. I got really awkward and pretended I didn't understand. They pointed out a fat kid and so still pretending I didn't understand I put baby powder on him because they were telling me to. It was weird and I felt uncomfortable. I already have a not so secret plan but I really want to try to do a kinda special olympics thing with the school if they are interested and ideally have my future idealized youth group plan and organize it with the help of the student at the school. Maybe even have other disabled schools come too and it could be a weekend thing. Oh the ambitious  dreams I have…

So that takes us til noon. I am now totally blanking on what I did this afternoon but I did have a meeting with my wrong nayok and my nayok and we talked about a lot of things and even planned some things only to unplan them before the meeting was through. I did get invited to see 9 temples in a day with the old people. Note: I have tried to teach them the word elderly many times, but its not seeming to catch on so I think I'm just adopting old people now. Also, apparently we can't schedule weekly meetings for the three of us because they might not have time. There was no way that I could explain it that if we made a schedule to have it every wednesday then we could build our schedules around that. Or worst case scenario miss one week but most of the time we could have it. The response was, I think next week I will have more time. Which had nothing to do with anything because we were already having this weeks meeting. While my wrong nayok was distracted I did however get the okay to go to Kohn Kaen next weekend which should be awesome. 

Also giving feedback is are when they can't understand. I tried to explain that I wanted a weekly meeting with them and that I would rather not have an escort because it means that I don't speak as much Thai or English and therefore I don't build a relationship and I don't understand as much because everyone around me is speaking thai so fast. I also mentioned wanting to work with this new counterpart and not wanting to work with the primary school and she said well we will see what their plans are. Just like every other time I had voiced these concerns its almost as though she understands it perfectly and 

 I got laughed at because my nails were a different color than my toes. Like someone came over to me from across the room and was laughing saying, Rosie…Rosie and kinda shaking her head and knelt beside me and pointed to my toes and then pointed to my fingers and said they are different! As if I didn't know that. she stared at me puzzled when I said, yes? and she asked, why? I said I don't know. She said, they are supposed to be the same. And kinda shook her head at me like I was wearing underwear on my head. What a silly goose. If only she could see what I want to paint them. I'm really missing my multicolored nails. 

Then I went on a longish bike ride and listened to my music really loud and it was awesome. Today was a good day.

April 25

Today I learned:

- a new sport.

- what a mango nut was(Cashew)

- that everyone knows my name

- everyone cares if Ive eaten lunch. I was asked no less than 10 times when I walked across the yard toward the lunch station.

- that my aunt was sad because I asked her to take a picture of me and the kids I was playing with and she wanted a picture of us too.

- that thai people/my family and neighbors like watching me do yoga(we'll see where that goes)

Today was "Good Thing Festival" or at least thats how my wrong nayok (the person that speaks the best english out of everyone I speak to) translated it to me. It was awesome. It was a little market festival kinda thing at the wat with a bunch of different things that were all made in our Tambon or in surrounding tambons. It was super fun and I realized that I knew most of the people there by face(very few by name but hey with 2 Frogs, a Bocce ball, 2 joys[they're actually called joy in thai, i don't know what it means in english], an Eye and a Thursday I feel like I'm doing pretty well with those). Also random: there's a word that sounds a lot like the english word smart but it's a thai word for handsome. I swear this language was designed with the intention of confusing me. 

Anyway I learned a new game and its called saabaa law or at least when I say something like that people were okay with it. Its cool. Its played on a Petangue court and its kind...

I fell asleep. Sorry.

Also, while napping I realized I now have an elaborate system of pillows and folded blankets and whatnot to ensure no bruises and optimum temperatures. It hadn't occurred to me to get a different mattress until someone suggested it to be, but at this point as long as I have my four different specific pillows I have a perfect system.

Until next time I will leave you with this

:

thai it, they said, its tasty...

April 1

That last post felt really long and not that funny so I'm gonna make an effort to tell you more fun and funny things. For instance today I spent about 20 minutes trying to explain the difference between 'look' at 'see' and when my coworker when asked for the fifth time if it was just that when you see something it's closer I finally just said 'sure', which actually just causes more problems.

Almost all of my coworkers know about as much english as I know thai but one of the best things that they keep confusing is chicken and kitchen. 'Do you like rice and kitchen?' I never realized until now how similar those sounds were. 

In my wrong nayok's office she has on her white board: Peach Corps Schedule make. Screw this I'm joining the Peach Corps.

I had a battle with a beetle in the shower. I only realized he was in there after I had taken off all my clothes so first I tried to get him down the drain. I succeeded and gained a false sense of relief and doused my head with water only to open my eyes to see him crawling up out of the drain.This was a minor setback and I poured another bowl of water on him and he went down. again feeling secure I started to wash my face so I closed my eyes and poured a bowl of water on my face only to open them to see this little guy flying around the bathroom now. I started to try to throw bowls of water on him and then realize how absurd that was. obviously he was impervious to water. so I tried to usher him to a corner and keep an eye on him until I was done. Of course every time I closed my eyes I was sure he was flying around the room about to attack. but don't worry guys, I made it out alive today. but check in tomorrow because I just realized I locked him in the bathroom so the adventure will begin again tomorrow.

Today I had my first tessabaan english class which was 10 people in the tessabaan including the wrong nayok (I keep forgetting to correct this auto correct because I'm trying to write rong nayok not wrong nayok, but the computer autocorrects and I'm gonna keep it because I think its funny and more importantly  I'm really lazy) and the nayok. So it was an interesting class. Because they are more respected people they sat at the front of the class. They are also probably the more well educated and therefore have better english skills overall so they generally dominate everything within the class. So it's gonna be interesting. Anyway the highlight of the class was the end when my nayok said 'okay, everybody crap for rosie' and he started clapping. I pulled him aside afterwards and told him that I didn't think he meant crap and try to correct his mistake by telling him what crap means. he proceeded up to the board to clarify and wrote 

crab = *draws a crab* 

clap = ****(writes thai for clap) 

crap = mii(thai word for poop) = defecate

It's still on the board. Its things like this that never occurred to me would be a problem. Crab, Clap and Crap

So yeah today my Nayok crapped for me at the end of class.

April 2

So I arrived at work and had about 30 minutes to myself and studied thai and then the children came. That was the end of productivity.

At one point after lunch I looked up from my iPod and thought there were a bunch of little knats everywhere and I nonchalantly returned to my work. This is funny and crazy for two reasons. One it doesn't occur to me to do anything about it accept go directly back to work and two I still don't know what they are but they aren't knats unless there are just chilling all over my desk.

My nayok somehow brought up Lady Gaga today but couldn't remember her name so he described her as the one with the white gloves and the shoulders. Obviously first guess was MJ. I'm kinda amazed that I got it, but I totally did.

The adventure continues in the shower. Tonight I went in looking for the beetle thing and instead found a frog desperately trying to jump up and out of the room that is my shower. I debated helping it out but again I was already naked so I decided he would just hang in the shower jumping around with me. over all it was a pretty good experience for me.

April 3

Today I'm starting to get annoyed. Today I went to the animai(mini hospital in the neighborhood, mostly a doctors office but the doctor only comes once a week). And for some reason my wrong nayok decided that the best day for me to go and hang out there was the day that the doctor was there. 

Initially I agreed…then I got there. 

It was a total madhouse. She introduced me to group of 10 people waiting outside the building and gave her whole schpeal(?) on who I am and what I do and then told me to introduce myself(despite the fact that she knows she's just said everything that I would say to them). Then while I'm trying to introduce myself in thai she's whispering to me what she thinks I should be saying in thai. Its getting really annoying and I'm not really sure what to do about it. Also I haven't gone anywhere alone. I think today I'm gonna go on a bike ride and maybe tomorrow I will try to go to wherever I'm supposed to go on my own. I think thats gonna be a shit show when it happens but I'm gonna have to do it sooner or later.

Sorry I'm hitting the first wall. I feel like I can't really communicate and I'm always tired and I'm always trying to learn more but everything lacks the structure that I need to learn. I'm gonna try to figure out how to teach myself thai in a way that will allow me to practice what I learn. okay. done complaining.

Also today when I met the doctor at the animai and I introduced myself as a volunteer with the Peace Corps. He said are you with USAID or Unicef. I tried to explain that I wasn't with either that peace corps volunteered with schools and health and youth and general development and was with the government but wasn't USAID or Unicef. I'm pretty sure he didn't understand anything I said but he did nod nicely and smile.

I thought I liked kids. I don't. There is one particular one that I really don't like and she bugs me all day every day and she is super annoying and always wants me to teach her english or tell me how to say things in thai. I think the worst is when she says things really slowly and enunciates each syllable individually in thai both because then I really have no idea what she's saying and because it makes me look like an idiot. I really can't wait for bit term to be over so she goes back to school. Also, I do like kids. All the other ones in the office are awesome.

Also thats a weird thing. In thailand when schools out and you don't have a babysitter(okay thats a lie, no one has a babysitter, if a child is not with its mom they are with a different family member and because of how common this is it is sometimes unclear who is the actual parent). okay anyway yeah if you don't have anyone else to take care of your kid you just bring them to work. Its not a thing. You don't apologize for it. Honestly, at least in my office, you don't even necessarily know where your kid is at any given time. You just bring them in and set them lose. Its crazy. 

But all of that was frustration from this morning. 

This afternoon i decided I needed some alone time aka a bike ride because thats the only alone time I get. So I decided to kii-len or ride fun. It totally changed my day. I decided I would ride to the market but that was only 2 kilometers so I turned off into a residential area and just started biking around. I passed a school that I will work with when school starts again and went past a bunch of thais who looked at me with interested, disapproving or skeptical eyes. That is until I smiled and said, sa-wa-dii-ka, then they would smile and kinda laugh at me and say sa-wa-di ka back. It was super cute. On my way I saw an older man on a bicycle, he was a bit distracted so he didn't see me until we were passing each other and then he yelled out a very excited HELLO! and swerved his bike. I got a good chuckle from that.

I also met my first teenagers!!! I feel like it was sooo successful. Mostly it was awkward and everyone was giggling but I think thats a start. I met them at the school and they were playing bon or futbon or soccer. They were a group of boys all between 11 and 15 (perfect target age group!!!) and they all spoke at least a little bit of english. This is gonna be awesome!!!  awkwardly awesome![thats also gonna be my new tagline]

So then I think my favorite part of the day was when I was biking back from watching the kids play bon and that same old man saw me. We were on opposite side of a 4 lane highway with cars speeding past in between us at about a car every second and he again gets super excited and says HELLO, HOW ***YOU  ***I ****. So yeah I have no idea what he said, but I want to meet that man. like actually for real. He just seems like happiness bottled up. I will sit with him and do whatever he wants just to hang out with him.

So then I get home and I feel really positive and ambitious so I decide that despite the fact that I don't really know how to take apart my bike and clean the chain I can probably figure it out and do it by myself(keep in mind its not like I have the internet, which would not make this a challenge). So after I try a couple different ways of nearly breaking my bike to take my bike chain off I decide to say eff it and clean it a little bit and put it back together and then I'll call my friend The Internet tomorrow and figure out how to do it for real. So I go to put everything back together and I've kept every screw and every pin and I put everything back together and I feel so proud of myself because, despite the fact that I didn't actually get things completely off, the chain looked way cleaner and was greased so I called it a win. Then I realized the bike chain wasn't actually catching. So for about an hour and a half I had the entire family standing around watching me try to figure out whats wrong and giving me the useful feedback of NO NO when I would try reattaching something in a different way. I finally gave up and had Geut(yeah, I know, I can't decide on the spelling) call the tessabaan bike mechanic and he came and fixed in it about 2 minutes. So lesson learned. Always take pictures if you are gonna try to take something apart and put it back together without knowing what the hell you are doing. At least thats the lesson I took from it.

April 4 

So first of all I just looked at the date and I realized I've been here almost THREE months. Thats a crazy long time and also a crazy short time. So much has happened and yet I feel like I'm only been gone for like a month max. I feel like if I came back to portland right now it would just be same old same old and no offense to anyone there(you know I love you all) but I'm so happy I'm here and waking up every day and going to work at this crazy place called a tessabaan and speaking mostly thai every day and actually understanding most of what's going on around(okay that might be an overstatement but a lot of whats going on around me).

On that note today was another day of mostly nothing until everything happened. Well mostly. So I got to work and there was a crapton of people with their dogs and cats in the tessabaan parking lot and a bunch of tables set up. It turns out that once or twice a year the tessabaan has a bunch of vets come and spay and neuter any dogs or cats that are brought. Srsly I'm really starting to wonder why I'm here. Half the time I think they are doing it better than america. anyway I took a bunch of pictures of what look like dead cats but they are really just given a paralytic and put in the line to get cut open(I think they also got a numbing agent but I'm not sure). Anyway then there were all these tables just out in the parking lot and they had like 10 vets just doing assembly line spaying and neutering. It was awesome and surreal.

So that was like the first half hour of work. Then I sat at my computer and played Facebook and studied the thai alphabet. I'm actually getting kinda good, I can recognize most of the consonants now. I know that sounds like nothing but there are 48 of them and they're all curly with bubbles and so obviously they all look the same. And then I played on my computer a lot and pretended I was studying whenever people came by. 

Then at lunch I mistakenly took Gets curry which was with chicken feet instead of the one she got for me which had muu (pork, i don't know if I've mentioned how awesome that is that pork in thai is moo, but it is awesome). It was super spicy but really good(I'm totally getting this spicy thing). And when I came back in I had a great amazing lovely package that was from my real mom. I was downstairs so I opened it in from of everyone and it has very melted misshapen chocolate bunnies and a chocolate bar and a bunch of easter eggs with jellybeans in them and my favorite toffee stuff from that place in massachusetts that I went that one time. Oh and I almost forgot the SLINKY. It was totally awesome. After offering some to everyone and everyone refusing(still unclear if its the politeness factor or that they really didn't want any of it, but I think its the latter). I was trying to explain them easter in the religious sense and one of them finally understood and said, 'oooh wankai!' which means egg day. And I rolled my eyes and was like uhh yeah, I guess. But then she said 'but why does your mom give you this? I thought this was for 5 year olds. Egg day.' I have to laugh and say yes it is in fact mostly for 5 year olds but I also love easter and I am still a child and so I love all these toys and candy. They laugh and laugh and laugh at me.  

So then I go back up to my desk and once again kinda pretend to study but dork around on the internet and  then get invited to help setup a futbon tournament. I'm totally down because I have nothing better to do and it will be fun. On my way to the school I realize this is the school I went to yesterday with the kids playing soccer and this is a tournament put on by the tessabaan for teenagers(Theres a little part of me at this point that is super frustrated because no one told me about this until an hour before it started despite the fact that 1) I could've helped and 2) this is exactly what falls under my job description). anyway it was super fun and I didn't really meet anyone because I was with the tessabaan aka the vips and the teenagers just politely wei and go off with their friends. I've gotta get in on the ground level with these kids and me sitting next to the mayor isn't really gonna do that.

so then I came home to a house full of dudes I've never met. oh i lied first I broke my bike again and then I walked it home to a house full of strange dudes. It turns out they were my brother and his friends and they were making frog salad so obviously I joined them and asked if I could help. I learned how to deal with the frogs- I would say de-bone but that would be an overstatement. It was basically taking out two or three of the biggest bones and breaking up the rest of it into bite size pieces. also three out of the four frogs were pregnant(honestly I'm gagging writing this right now). So anyway we did that(guts  frog eggs, bones, tendons, skin, innards and all). and then they (deep breath for rosie it would be a shame to throw up on my computer just in an effort to tell you what I ate) mixed it all together and added chili's, lime, naam bplaa(fish sauce), sugar, salt, unripe papaya, garlic stems, and I think thats it. I have to admit it wasn't terrible but the fried frog was way better.

All this said, today my stomach is not happy with me. who knows if it was the extra spicy chicken feet curry or the frog eggs but I ate dinner about an hour ago and I've already gone to the bathroom twice and I'm not sure I feel safe quite yet. 

on that note I'm out.

April 6

So yeah. 

The frog. 

It wasn't good. 

I didn't feel safe all night and all the next day and to be honest not sure if I do now(2 nights later). I keep telling Get(I'm sticking with this spelling now….I think) that I think its was the frog, but she's pretty sure it was because I ate spicy food. Either way between the throwing up and the pooping water so I'm gonna lay off both for a bit. So besides that I've been sleeping a lot. In part because it was the only way I wasn't doing the two other aforementioned things. 

Today I felt a bit better so I went to a monk ordination. Now everyone always says things like weddings and monk ordinations are soooo much fun and there's this huge party and everyone's dancing and drinking and having a high old time. For some reasons I never make it to those monk ordinations or wedding. Or I leave before that part. Now don't get me wrong this was beautiful and there was some very silly dancing done by myself and all the old ladies and there were two newly ordained monks after about an hour of chanting. so that was cool. but one time I wanna go to the other kind. Also after I thought it was done  we went to the meeting hall for what I thought was lunch(given it was ten and they fed us breakfast at 7:30). But no we had more chanting, now I think buddhist chants are gorgeous and I would actually love to sit and meditate to these monks saying pretty much anything but this is not what we do. What actually happens is everyone sits around with their hand in the lotus position(similar to a prayer position but the palms aren't touching) and the monks start to chant and everyone else has hushed conversations over the monks chants and about every 2 minutes or so you wei and then every so often theres a pause and you get to put your hands down and theres kinda this collective sigh and (I presume) a silent hope that that was the last one because clearly no one is listening anyway and then it comes up again and everyone raises their hands and continues or comes up with a new topic to whisper to their neighbor. 

Anyway, the monk ordination was loverly and then we left. so no party. oh well. maybe next time. 

******

Also thailand in stuck in the 90s. I know its supposed to be portland and all but seriously. Every day I see teenagers in weirdly fitting levi jeans and thin flannels with either braces or weird edgy bob haircuts. Every time I just sit there and wonder if they think it looks good. I think the hardest part is then realizing that they probably look better than I do with my hair somewhere in between a mullet and Mrs Brady and my pants that I thought were professional until Get asked me if I was gonna change out of my sleeping pants before we left the house(srsly, they're j.crew?!?) and my white polo that would fit a box better than me. And meanwhile the ones that I do think dress super cute are wearing things that number 1 even if I could fit in them would never ever work on my body(mostly because I'm tall) and number two if anyone every saw me wearing some of these outfits I'm pretty sure I'd never hear the end of it. Just to give you an idea there's a lot of lace printed shorts with blouses(yeah blouses, just saying the word kinda makes me feel weird) and heels. But theses girls are so cute in them. One day I'll try…maybe.

Tonight I watched The Lion King with my nephew and within 5 minutes it was a family affair. They were super into it and it was in english so they could kinda understand some of it but would ask questions about what was happening and how to say different animals. Also apparently I'm forgetting english at a fairly rapid pace. Today I forgot two things. Okay well I forgot what kinda of animal the warthog was and to be fair I don't know how to say warthog so I ended up just telling them he was a pig. but also what they hell is his little friend. what animal is that? I was thinking it was a meerkat but that seems wrong. But the one that really struck me of how bad my english is getting is that I forgot the english word for omelette so I described it to Get in thai and she told me the english word. Thats insanity. Get doesn't even know that many english words. oh also we have spinach. The way that they explained it to me to saying, nii tam popeye glad or this makes popeye strong(its the little things I swear). Its thai spinach so its not the same but I'm pretty sure its the vegetable that I loved in suphan buri. they make it different here. They make everything different here and I have to admit I'm really missing the food in Suphan Buri. I love my site and everything but since the frog I've basically had a total of one meal because nothing is super delicious and I'm wary enough at everything that I'm worried I might throw up. Like today for dinner there was rice and octopus fried with fish sauce, spinach with something else, some fatty pork with pineapple, some sweet hot peppers, some super spicy crab salad. Okay when I say it all out like that I sound really spoiled and bratty because that all sounds awesome, but its different when your here. Mostly because only like 10% of the meat is actually meat. With the larger animals its at least half fat and theres usually some bone in there too. With the smaller animals like fish and crab its a lot of bone or shell or whatever. Needless to say Aurelia's whole eating the tail of the shrimp thing is not even a thought anymore.

April 7

Today I realized that i get called a boy at least once a day. Everyone thinks Im my host sisters new boyfriend

I had a fever the other day and I got the shivers and one of my first thoughts was actually, I should probably enjoy this, ya know, being cold and all. 

Today I had nothing to do so I read an entire book, did my laundry and went on a 20 kilometer bike ride in the heat of the day(I think I did it to spite myself).

Also I think every night is now movie night. tonight even meh and paw watched too and they're like 70. 

Literally almost just had a heart attack because my hard drive didn't show up on my computer when I plugged it in. My mind started racing about what I was gonna do and what was gonna happen and how I was gonna upload pictures tomorrow like I was half heartedly planning to and what if I couldn't get a new cord and what if they didn't have this cord and I should probably buy two just in case. I haven't been at site more than a month and I'm already pretty desperately attached to my hard drive. 

April 8 

Ants are everywhere. I keep finding them on me when I haven't been around food or outside for over half an hour. They are just crawling on me. Sometimes I imagine them but its only because so often they are actually there. 

The kitchens here are so small that I feel like no matter what I have when I get back to america it will feel like an industrial size kitchen. That said, our floor is often our kitchen counter/cutting board so that comes with the territory.

Also I've never felt so fat and skinny at the same time. I'm fairly fit these days what with it being 10000 degrees and riding my bike at least a couple miles ever day and not eating much because nothing seems super delicious(I'm working on that). But then I do go to get clothes and literally everything is too small. Its such a wierd thing. its not like I actually feel fat but I there are normal size people here (even some of the thai's are large) and I just don't know where they find clothes.

skin heads and negros-

just a note to tell you guys that anyone bald is called a skin head and any black person is called a negro here. They had no idea either was offensive until I tried to explain. I tried to explain things a little bit to my nayok and he then said oh they are hitler about the skinheads. At this I was 1) impressed he knew what I was talking about 2) impressed he knew who hitler was and 3) left it at that because that was probably the best I was gonna do.

April 9

I've been slacking on my TODAY I LEARNED so I'm gonna try to pick that back up again too.

Today I learned:

-the reality of the fishbowl. I went on a 40 minute bike ride and didn't go half a kilometer without knowing someone and happening to be at their house, moms house, market or field(farm).

-A man from my tessabaan got really excited to show me all the cement he made look like wood in the new park they are building(annie this is where you are going to walk wyatt when you come). It looked pretty awesome. I'm super impressed with the brush strokes mimicking the knots. it was awesome. 

-The other day when I went on a bike ride I really confused this yaai because I didn't really know where I was going so I went until I was nervous I was gonna get lost(which happened to be right after her store) and then just turned around and went back the same way. It turns out I was about a kilometer from my house if I had just kept going and she knew where I lived despite my having never met her.

-Sometimes you think you're in a big city full of a bunch of people who don't have the time of day for anyone else but then you smile at them and suddenly you're in a village again.

So early in my experience in thailand I had this dessert that seems to be the most popular dessert in thailand, probably because is so easy to make. It is the good old fashioned icee. The first time I had one it was back in suphan buri and I was lunching with a couple of my fellow PCVs and a local paw-aw or principal. He had already served us lunch and a student brought up a tray of different colored icees. I was excited as it was hot and it was ice. Who cared how sweet or fake or whatever it was cold. So I grabbed a green one and dug in. Now first bite was pretty much what I expected. Basically over sugared cold water with some ice and concentrated syrup. Then I realized there were things in it, hiding at the bottom. So adventurer that I am I went in and investigated. I found some unidentifiable fruit or gelatinous thing. I  figured hey well at least I'm getting some fruit…maybe. It was only when I continued for a third bite that I was pushed over the edge there on my plastic soup spoon full of green liquid and ice and a black piece of gelatin was also a soggy piece of bread. I slowly put down my spoon and left it to melt. I still don't get it. I don't think I'll ever get it. just like the ice cream sandwich here. it's not like I actually want a sandwich with ice cream in it. anyway. yeah. so fast forward three months later and I still don't get it and I still know its weird and its still not my favorite dessert of kanom but I do eat one almost every day bread and all. So thats some progress I've made.

I went on a bike ride today. I've gotta do it every day. Not for the exercise(bc everyone knows THATS not my thing) but every time I do it I come back with the biggest smile. People are so cute. Recently I've been once again frustrated with the fact that I'm in a bigger city and it feels as though its gonna be harder to meet people and I'm not gonna be the farang. It's been that way a little bit in that people stare at me but don't necessarily say hello like they did in Suphan but today I went out on my own for a bit and realized that number one my amphur is really small and two that I can't go more than half a kilometer without running into someone I know. Also, it's not like I didn't know this already but EVERYONE wants to feed me. its more a thai thing. Its not me. Today in a matter of 20 minutes I was offered dinner 4 times and they all knew that I had eaten some food already and I was headed home for dinner. 

Today I wore shorts over leggings down to my knees and a short sleeved tshirt and I was self conscious about bring too riske. Oh my how I've changed. I feel like by the time I'm allowed to go on vacation I'm gonna feel like bikinis are basically nudity.

April 10

There were all sorts of weird things that happened today.

First apparently my wrong nayok has taken it upon herself to change the structure of thai language and declare that there are in fact 5 tones but they are not what ever book that ever taught westerners say that they are(mid, high, low, rising and falling). Instead they are mid, higher, highest, lower, and lowest. The difference between higher and highest is a difficult one to figure out. I kept trying to figure out which of higher or highest was what I called high and which was what I called rising based on the words that she was using with each one. That lead to more confusion because I thought she was saying the higher version of maa when she was in fact saying the highest version of maa. Needless to say after 20 minutes of her trying to explain this to me she told me that I probably shouldn't learn it anyway because I should just learn the way the words are supposed to sound and then just say them like that. Of course! why didn't I think of that.

Also at the end of our lesson the power went out and then within 30 seconds it was the thunder and lightning and we got a huge awesome thunderstorm for about an hour(and no power for an hour). I immediately went downstairs (where the entire office was anyway) to check it out outside. I so badly wanted to run outside and play in the rain with the kids but I couldn't because thats not riap roy and also when I did go outside(under the cement awning) everyone started screaming and calling me in anyway. So I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have let me play in the actual rain.

The rain brought to light a couple things namely everything leaks. Everything. The doors to the front of the tessabaan had a puddle after like 5 minutes of rain. Almost every window had at least a little bit of a leak(including the one directly behind my chair/desk- so guess I'm just not sitting at my desk during the rainy season). So I guess the question would be how does that work? Also this thing with the power. It was off for like an hour and a half today. Not that I need power or anything but its kinda annoying to have it taken away from you when you're expecting to have it. Its just like cutting a kid a huge piece of cake and then only letting him have two bites and stealing it as he's putting the third in his mouth. Its just not very nice. Also, Trat's an amphur muang shouldn't they have this whole wind thing figured out. I don't know maybe thats just me. Also just in general you would think in this day and age with the internet and stuff that if someone builds power lines they should be able to stand up to the wind or rain, I mean besides if like a pole goes over or something like that. 

Also I had this mental image of me biking in that rain. The more I think about it the more I have no idea how I'm gonna get around. I already want to buy a moto and just go under the radar(don't worry mom and peace corps, I won't). Not that that would help with the rain i guess but still. I just imagine 3 months of that rain and biking and it actually seems kinda fun right now but I know that its gonna suck at 7 o'clock in the morning when I already don't want to go to work. 

Also today was full of those experiences of I thought I knew what was going on and then was blindsided by what I now think is going on which may or may not be what is actually going on.I guess thats most days but today I had a couple. For instance, yesterday I asked where Dhat and Miu were and Get said they went home. I was a little confused because I thought they lived here but I figured they were just visiting for bit term and then they were gonna go back and live with their dad during the school year. I did remember Miu saying she went to a private school and I haven't seen or heard of one around here so I decided(with my little information) that I had solved the mystery and got a little sad that the house wouldn't be a bustling but 

I also just realized after my second shower today that I shower more here than I do in america and there is no hot water and no faucet. I'm literally giving myself a bucket bath out of a trash can. The best part is I rather enjoy it. Not in the same way and oh I'm sore and tired and need a bath and lets put bubbles in and drink a glass of red wine in the bathtub kinda way(god damn it, even my own mind is betraying me with imaginary awesomeness that I want). But more of a well this is somehow still entertaining even though I do it at least twice a day. Actually to be honest there have been two days where I didn't shower, but for those of you that know me well thats amazing. I have been here exactly 3 months and there have been exactly two days(I'm not counting the 24 hours that I was on a plane) that I haven't taken a shower. I honestly think thats probably a record for me.

April 11

Today was old people day. I love old people. Especially Thai old people. They are so silly and lovely and touchy and adorable and like two feet tall. So yeah today we had old people appreciation and there was a lot of silly games like relays to eat a bunch of food and then eat this weird beetle nut things that all old thai people eat. or singing song with a call and response and between the deafness and the general slowness it would take about 20 times before people started to understand that they were supposed to respond when called but then they couldn't always remember whether they were supposed to clap their hands or stomp their feet. There was a lot of redo's. It was full of hilarious old ladies that were cracking up. Again we all danced and they loved me. I have decided that I know I'm supposed to work with the teenagers and stuff and I'm all lucky(or some people think so) because I'm in an amphur muang(aka city) so I can have friends  that may actually be a bit more liberal and be able to hang out and all, but after today all I want to do is have a gang of like 70 year olds to hang out with. They are crazy and awesome and because they are automatically respected because of their age they can be totally inappropriate and get away with it completely. And they abuse that privilege like no other. They're basically all my idols. 

Also another note. I haven't seen many canes here. I'm thinking its probably because there are the old people who walk and there are the old people who don't walk and theres not as much of a slow transition there as in america and I'm assuming its because of the terrain and the fact that most old people ride bikes as their transportation so if they don't walk they don't go anywhere. So anyway the few canes I have seen (about 10) are all PVC pipe. I think this is a perfect example of why these old people are awesome. I can remember my grandpas canes. I remember a couple different ones and I remember them being expensive and really nice wood and all this stuff, which don't get me wrong was totally beautiful, but was also incredibly expensive for a thing that was really just supposed to hold you up when you get wobbly. These guys are just practical with their blue PVC pipe cane. I kinda want to meet a badass granny and ask if I can paint her a cool cane or get a bunch of stickers and decorate it. maybe that's what I'll do when I grow up and get old. make myself a PVC pipe cane and make it badass. 

Oh also its song kran which is Thai New Year for the next three days(I think). So what that entails for me I'm still not too sure but I've heard it involves a lot of hawaiian shirts(which I did see today. Also just imagine a group of 100 people over the age of 60 that are all wearing the required bright floral hawaiian shirts--it's kinda impossible not to love it and don't worry there are lots of pictures), squirt guns, baby powder and basically a country wide water fight. So yeah, what I experienced today was a woman dabbing something that kinda smelled like astringent on my cheeks and forehead and then dabbing some other milky looking substance over it and then when that dries you have white powder marks on your cheeks and forehead all day. So yeah. Thats gonna be my weekend I guess. I'll let you know how it works out.

Also today I was thinking about all the people I know and trying to remember their names and it occurred to me that I know 3 Frogs, 1 Dog, 1 Salty(in addition to our cat that's named salty), 1 Sugar, and 1 New. I'm sure I'm forgetting some but thats pretty awesome.